


Perfection

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-19
Updated: 2006-11-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 00:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian is 35 and has been in a relationship which ended badly.  Justin is 25 and a model who returns to Pittsburgh to chase his dream of becoming an artist.  Will their ideas of perfection keep them apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Thanks to Sabina for her help and inspiration, and to Gina for the idea for this story.  


* * *

Brian Kinney walked into Flanagan's Bar.  A small smile raised the corners of his mouth.  He was feeling good.  Kinnetik had just landed the Liberty Air advertising account.  Brian had taken it away from Vangard, away from that asshole Gardner Vance, his former employer.  Sometimes the universe unfolded the way it should, and this was one of those times.  Liberty Air had been one of his first major accounts when he had worked at the Ryder Agency, and now it had gone full circle coming back to him.  He could afford to gloat just a little bit, no, more than a little bit.

 

His smile was even bigger as he slid his Armani clad ass onto one of the barstools.  He ordered a boilermaker.  The bartender set the two glasses down in front of him and Brian downed the shot.  He felt the heat spread through his system.  Then he took a sip of the beer which mellowed the whole effect.  Silently he toasted his bastard of a father who had introduced him to boilermakers many years ago.  It was one of the few useful things that his father had ever done for him.

 

Brian glanced around the pub content in the knowledge that he knew no one in the place.  He had found the bar one night not so long ago when Michael and the boiz had royally pissed him off with their constant questions and incessant nosiness about his personal life.  Brian had finally told them to fuck off and had stormed out of Woody's.

 

Once outside, he knew he didn't want to go home.  He was several drinks shy of where he wanted to be.  He had started walking away from Liberty Avenue, away from any of the usual haunts where they might find him, if they dared to follow.  Twenty minutes later he had calmed down sufficiently to look up and see the sign for Flanagan's just up the street.  Desperately in need of a drink, at that point he had reached for the front door where he noted the little rainbow sticker that indicated a gay friendly business.  That made him feel better even though no one usually suspected he was gay unless he wanted them to.  He had opened the door and ventured inside.

 

Glancing around the premises he noted that it was set up like an Irish pub with booths and tables and a long bar.  He had taken one of the stools at the bar.  Before the bartender came over, he noted what others were drinking.  Some guy at the other end of the bar was polishing off a boilermaker, so he had ordered one too.  That's what he had every time he came there now.

 

That night Brian had downed his boilermaker, followed by another, and then several more.  After an hour or three the bartender had poured him into a taxi and he had gone home with all thoughts of his insensitive friends thoroughly wiped from his brain.  In fact thoughts of any kind were blanked out in his alcoholic stupor.  He had never let things get to that state again, but he had found himself gravitating to this bar where no one knew his name, no one asked questions, and he could drink in peace.  When he wanted to avoid the "family", it was a perfect place to go, and these days he avoided them more and more.

 

This evening, he nodded at the bartender, whom he had finally learned was named Casey.  Casey was a good Irish name for a well trained bartender.  He immediately brought Brian another round.  Brian looked up the length of the bar noting a young, dark haired man who had just come in and sat down.  Brian's gaydar pinged immediately, but he carefully avoided making eye contact with the guy.  This wasn't the place for picking up tricks.  This was his private drinking spot.

 

Brian took a surreptitious glance at the man down the bar.  He decided that he was probably a student from PIFA which was about three blocks farther down the street.  Kinnetik had had several interns from that fine institution, and this guy looked like he would fit right in with them.

 

Having made that arbitrary decision, Brian directed his attention back to his beer and his reason for being in the pub in the first place.  He was celebrating his new account and his coup over Vangard.  He put the rather fine looking young man out of his thoughts.  His recent triumph over Gardner Vance played through his head once again.  It was a sweet victory for Brian.  It was good to win, and it was good to have his old client back.  Brian almost felt like his old, confident self once again.  Almost.

 

He decided he would have one more boilermaker and then he would head on home.  As Casey was setting his drink in front of him, Brian felt someone slide into the empty seat beside him at the bar.  He couldn't help but glance over to see who it was.  His breath caught in his throat at the sight of the best looking thing he had seen in a very long time.  And the guy was clearly gay.  Brian felt his dick start to swell and a tiny moan escaped his lips.  The blond man looked at him and then quickly turned away.

 

"What can I get you?" Casey asked the blond.

 

"Beer."  
  
"I.D.?"

 

"Fuck!" the blond muttered as he fished in the pocket of his jeans for his wallet.  He pulled out what looked like a driver's license and handed it to the bartender.

 

"Twenty-five?" Casey asked skeptically after examining the document.

 

"I know I look younger, but that's my age.  Too bad I don't look even younger," he muttered half under his breath, but Brian heard it clearly.

 

"What kind of beer?" Casey asked apparently satisfied that the man was old enough to have one.  He handed back the driver's license.

 

"Heineken."  
  
Brian's eyebrow went up.  Heineken was certainly more sophisticated than Miller or Bud.  This guy could prove to be interesting.  Brian's scrutiny caused the blond to turn and stare at him.  Apparently he was not too pleased with being observed.

 

Brian decided to break his own rule and initiate conversation.  "Why do you want to look younger?" he asked.

 

"Huh?"

 

"These are the easy questions," Brian smirked.  "I get to the hard ones later."  
  
"Sorry.  I'm just not used to anybody talking to me in a place like this."  
  


"Even in friendly downtown Pittsburgh?" Brian said with his tongue in his cheek.

 

The blond choked on his sip of beer.  "That wasn't very nice," he chuckled.

 

Brian smirked before saying, "I haven't seen you around here before, but you look vaguely familiar."

 

"Do you use that line on everyone?"

 

"No, you do look familiar."  Brian watched the man shiver involuntarily.  "I'm not trying to pry," Brian added quickly as he noted the reaction.  The blond sneezed and Brian said, "Gesundheit."

 

"Excuse me," the blond replied taking out a tissue and wiping at his nose.  He appeared to relax a bit as he looked back at Brian.  "I just started at PIFA."  
  
"At twenty-five?"

 

"You think I'm too old?" the blond asked as he sneezed again and then again.

 

"Gesundheit," Brian repeated.  "I hope it's not me that you're allergic to."  
  
The blond smiled.  "No, but mention of my age seems to trigger the sneezes."  
  
"Now that's one I've never heard before."  
  
"Me either, until it started happening."  
  
"Just recently?"

 

"About a year ago," the blond said.

 

"Why does mention of age set you off?  Although, I can fully sympathize.  Who the fuck wants to get old?"

 

"Exactly!  And in my line of work, it's the kiss of death."  
  
"Your line of work?" Brian asked.

 

"Modeling."  
  
"You're…" Brian began.

 

"Justin Taylor," the blond replied holding out his hand.

 

Brian took it to shake and felt a little jolt of electricity as they touched.  "Calvin Klein underwear," Brian said with a smirk.

 

"Yeah," Justin admitted, "but not anymore."  
  
"Let me guess.  They found someone younger," Brian said beginning to understand what Justin's problem was all about.  "That sucks!"

 

"Big time."  And Justin sneezed three more times.  
  
"Well, they couldn't have found anyone with a better ass than yours," Brian stated emphatically as Justin wiped his nose and took a drink of beer.

 

Justin almost choked on his beer again, before grinning at Brian.  "Thank you," he said with a definite twinkle in his eye.

 

"I'm Brian Kinney by the way," Brian said staring into those blue eyes.

 

"Nice to meet you, Brian," Justin replied with a smile. "I'm surprised you know who I am."  
  
"I'm in advertising.  It's my job to know such things."  
  
"I see," Justin said with a frown.

 

Brian felt the blond pulling away, retreating into himself.  He didn't like that feeling and wondered just what he had said that caused it to happen.  He had enjoyed talking to the young man.  He watched as Justin finished his beer and started to stand up.

 

"Would you like another?  My treat," he said hastily, not wanting the blond to leave.  "You can help me celebrate."  
  
"Celebrate?" Justin asked, as after a moment's hesitation he sat back down.

 

"Yeah," Brian smirked.  "Can't you tell that I'm celebrating?"

 

"Don't celebrations usually involve other people?  Friends?"

 

"Sometimes I prefer my own company … or yours."  
  
Justin smiled from ear to ear, a smile that momentarily took Brian's breath away.  It was definitely worth keeping that smile around, if only for one more beer.  Brian gestured to the bartender to bring another round.

 

"Thanks," Justin said as he took a sip from his new bottle of beer.  "What are you celebrating?"  
  
"I just landed a big account for my company."  
  
"Oh?"

 

"Liberty Air."  
  
"That is a big account.  Congratulations."  
  
Brian smiled.  "Thanks, and it was so sweet getting it."  
  
"Why's that?  Sounds like there's more to it than a shitload of money."  
  
"Oh yeah!  Liberty Air used to be my client before my former employer was taken over by Vangard."  
  
"I've heard of Vangard," Justin said.  "So you work for them?"

 

Brian shook his head.  "Used to, but the bullshitter that owns it started to piss me off.  I started my own company."  
  
"Wow!" Justin reacted.  "Would I know it?"

 

"It's called Kinnetik."  
  
"Oh," Justin said with a frown.  Then the light dawned.  "You did those Remsen Pharmaceutical ads about some medicine for AIDS.  They were great … so honest and raw."

 

"Thanks," Brian smirked.  "I took that account away from Vangard too."  
  
"And apparently enjoyed every minute of it," Justin laughed. 

 

"Absolutely."  
  
Justin giggled as he finished his beer.  This guy was kind of entertaining.  "Thanks for the beer.  Happy celebrating."  
  
"Um…" Brian began.  "Might you be in here again some time soon?"  He knew he sounded like an idiot, but he had enjoyed talking to Justin more than he had enjoyed talking to anyone in a very long time.  He'd like to do it again.

 

"You never know," Justin said with a smile, "I might just drop in again."  Justin gave Brian a quick wink as he said, "I enjoyed taking part in your celebration."  
  
Brian smiled as he watched the blond walk out the door.  He shook his head as he wondered what had ever possessed him to strike up a conversation with Justin Taylor.  He never did things like that, but he was glad he had, and furthermore, he hoped he could do it again soon.

 

Brian paid his tab and headed out to his car.  He was feeling good, better than he had in a long time.  It had been a good day.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Brian walked into Kinnetik just after dawn.  No one else was there, which was why he had arrived so early.  He had decided that he would make up a board announcing his acquiring of the Liberty Air account.  It would be his way of sharing the good news with the rest of his hardworking crew.

 

When he was finished making the board, he set it up in the main entryway of Kinnetik and stood back to survey the work he had done.  With a slight smile of approval at his rapid handiwork, he headed for the break room to start a pot of coffee.  It was a long time since he had made a board for an ad.  It had been kind of fun, and good to know that he still had the knack of how to construct one.

 

Brian walked into his office with his newly made cup of coffee.  He sat down and flipped his feet up onto his desk.  He leaned back in his chair savoring his coffee and letting his mind wander.

 

He hadn't gotten much sleep last night.  He had been mulling over the possible direction of the whole Liberty Air campaign.  He knew they liked the basic premise of what he wanted to do with the campaign or they wouldn't have hired him.  But he had bigger ideas and he had spent a lot of time thinking about them last night.

 

The rest of the time he had spent thinking about Justin Taylor.  There was something about Justin Taylor that really appealed to him.  He had enjoyed talking to the young man.  It had almost been a real celebration, having Justin take part in it with him.  He had been so lonely lately.  He shook himself.  He refused to go there.  It was territory best left unexplored.  He thought about Justin again.  The man was fine looking, there were no two ways about it.  But he thought of Justin as more of a friend than anything else.  He was glad he had taken the chance to speak to him.  Maybe he would go back to the bar tonight and see if Mr. Justin Taylor might also show up again.

 

Brian's staff began arriving and they all stuck their heads into his office to congratulate him on his latest coup.  He made sure to tell each of them to get to work and not fuck up any of his accounts.  They were good workers, but he didn't want them to get too cocky or too friendly.

 

The day went by with meetings and discussions of the new Liberty Air account and the finalizing of some other projects.  As usual, Cynthia was a fount of wisdom and a level head amongst the myriad of ideas.  By the afternoon they had a good framework of what they were going to do.  

 

Brian's equanimity had gradually eroded as the day went on.  He found it hard to be pleasant, civil even, with those that didn't give a hundred and ten percent to what they were doing.  He knew his reputation as a bitch had gotten worse over the last few months, but that was too fucking bad.  He owned the company.  He could do whatever he wanted.

 

About four o'clock Brian noticed Ted walking past his office and bellowed, "Theodore, get your ass in here!"

 

"Yes, Boss," Ted said hustling through the door into Brian's office.  "What can I do for you?"

 

"You can do nothing for me," Brian stated with an arch of the eyebrow.

 

Ted shuffled his feet and looked at the floor.  Brian was getting harder and harder to deal with.  "Sorry."  
  
"Sorry's bullshit!"

 

"Well, um, why did you call me in here?"

 

"To see how fast you could get your aging bones through the door."  
  
"Is … is that supposed to be funny?" Ted asked with a frown.

 

"Do you find it funny?"

 

"Um … no."  
  
"Then it's not funny."  
  
"So, why did you call?" Ted asked hoping to get an answer and get the hell out of Dodge.

 

"I was just reading through the quarterly profit statement that you left on my desk.  Kinnetik seems to be doing adequately."

 

"It's doing fucking fantastic, and now with this Liberty Air account, we're looking good," Ted ventured.

 

Brian smirked.  "Therefore, since you're here and we seem to concur about how well Kinnetik is doing, I'm thinking of making a new investment."  
  
"Really?" Ted asked.  "What kind of an investment?"

 

"I don't know."  
  
"Let me get this straight.  You want to invest some money, but you have no idea what you want to invest it in."  
  
"Precisely."  
  
"And…?"  Ted held out his hands wondering what he was supposed to say … or do.  All he wanted to do was get out of Brian's office.  
  
"What would you suggest?" Brian asked, leaning back in his big office chair.

 

"Blue chip stocks?"

 

"Too boring."  
  
"Bearer bonds?"

 

"I don't think so," Brian snorted.  He knew Ted was trying to be funny.  "You just want me to get mugged when I carry them around with me."  
  
Ted frowned.  He wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh at that or not.  He decided he better not.  "Real estate?" he asked to move things along.

 

"I'm not in the market for a fucking house," Brian said with a glare.

 

"I didn't mean a house," Ted backtracked.  "A business?"

 

"I don't need another fucking business.  You have until tomorrow at noon to find something of which I will approve."  
  
"But…"

 

"Yes?" Brian glared.

 

"I'm sure I can find something," Ted said hastily.

 

"Let's just say that would be in your own best interest."

 

"Yes, sir."  
  
"Oh, and Ted."  
  
"Yes?" Ted said as he headed for the safety of the outer office.  He was almost at the door and he wanted to escape.

 

"It better be a fucking good investment, or I'll have to kill you."

 

"Um…"

 

"No, fucking ums."  
  
"I'll make it good," Ted blurted out and then pushed the door open and all but ran out of the office.

 

"What's after you?" Cynthia asked as he emerged from the lion's den.

 

"His royal pain in the ass has a new assignment for me," Ted griped.

 

"And what's that?" Cynthia asked with a faint smile.

 

"I have to find a new investment for his highness by tomorrow at noon."  
  
"What kind of investment?"

 

"How the fuck should I know?  Something he'll like."  
  
"That gives you some very definite parameters," Cynthia chuckled.

 

"Yeah, right," Ted groused.  "You can laugh until he calls you into the inner sanctum.  He just gets harder and harder to deal with."

 

"I know," Cynthia said wiping the smile off her face.  "I hate to think what he'll be like in another month."

 

"How long has it been since _he_ left?"

 

"Three months."  
  
"It really knocked Brian for the proverbial fucking loop."  
  
Cynthia nodded.  "I wish there was something we could do."  
  
"Besides absorb his caustic barbs and continual threats to either dismember or murder us."

 

Cynthia laughed.  "He only threatens to fire me."  
  
"Lucky you!"

 

"I'm not sure how lucky that makes me.  He knows he can never get along without me, so I think I'm safe."

 

"Wish I could say the same."  
  
"Don't worry, Ted.  It's almost the weekend."

 

"Yeah, if his highness lets me live that long."

 

Cynthia chuckled to herself as Ted bustled away to start looking up potential investments.  The smile soon faded as she thought about what had happened to her boss over the last few months.  It was no wonder he had turned into an even bigger asshole than he had always been, or at least than most people thought he was.

 

Cynthia knew the real story or part of it.  She walked back to her desk and sat down with a new cup of coffee.  She remembered the day Ted had told her what was going on.  Nothing had been the same since.

 

Brian had been in the middle of a pitch when he buckled over in pain.  He had tried to drink a glass of water and shrug it off, but he looked positively gray.  He was holding onto the edge of the table for dear life.  Finally Brian had excused himself and told Ted and her to take over.  Ted had been so nervous, and had almost screwed up the account.  But with her help, they had saved the day and signed the client.

 

Ted had immediately headed for Brian's office to tell him the good news.  He found Brian wearing his overcoat and lying in a fetal position on the couch.  After some strategic cajoling, Brian had finally agreed to go to the loft and get some rest.  Ted had put him in a taxi, and Kinnetik did not see Brian for two days.

 

*****

 

Brian sat in his office.  He wondered why he had been so hard on Ted, but then he was hard on everybody these days.  Most of the time he seethed with rage.  That was, when he wasn't feeling fucking sorry for himself.  He swiped a hand across his face hoping to erase the morbid thoughts that plagued him these days.

 

Brian gathered up some papers and tossed them in his open briefcase.  He looked around the office deciding if there was anything else that he wanted to take home with him.  Not seeing anything that needed to be worked on, he snapped the briefcase closed and picked it up.  Carrying it, he walked out of Kinnetik and over to his car.

 

He knew where he was going as soon as he climbed behind the wheel.  A few minutes later he was walking into Flanagan's.  He looked around hopefully, knowing exactly what or rather who he was looking for.  Unfortunately he wasn't there.  He sat down at the bar anyway and ordered a Heineken.

 

He sipped at the beer for quite a while.  His eyes sought the door of the bar whenever he heard it open.  He ordered another beer and then another, all the while waiting expectantly.  However, as he polished off his sixth beer, he began to think that he wasn't going to see his prize tonight.

 

Finally with a feeling of abandonment, which he told himself was completely irrational, he paid his bill and headed back to his car.  He sat in the Corvette for well over twenty minutes looking up and down the street to see if he could spot what he was looking for.  

 

By the time midnight rolled around, he decided his quest was useless. Finally he started his car and pulled out of the parking lot at the bar.  For some reason the Corvette headed in the opposite direction to his home.  It seemed to be heading for the campus of PIFA.  Brian scanned the streets as he drove there looking for the familiar face.  He even drove into the campus and did a cursory drive around hoping to see a blond head.  However, it was not to be on this evening.

 

At last, Brian gave up his quest and headed for his loft.  Maybe tomorrow night would bring greater rewards.  For now he would go home to his empty loft and talk to his fucking TV set or find some internet porn.  He would have to find Justin Taylor another time.


	3. Chapter 3

Kinnetik was in Kinney alert mode.  The Boss was on a rampage.  He had been in a foul mood from the instant he walked through the door.  He had yelled at Cynthia for coffee.  He had shredded the latest designs for the Eyeconics ads, and had then proceeded to shred the people who worked on them.

 

"Cynthia, where the fuck are the Liberty Air contracts?"

 

"On your desk," Brian's assistant said coldly as she walked into Brian's office.  This was the third time in half an hour that Brian had shouted at her.

 

"Then why the fuck can't I find them?"

 

"If you opened your eyes, you'd see they were right here," Cynthia said trying not to get angry herself.  She reached into the stack of folders, extracted the one Brian wanted and handed it to him with a steely glare.

 

"Thanks," he replied, but there was no equanimity in his voice.  He'd be yelling at her again in a few minutes.

 

Sure enough, five minutes later, Brian bellowed, "Cynthia!"

 

"What is it now?"

 

"Where's that paper I was looking at this morning?"

 

"What paper?"

 

"The one I was looking at this morning," Brian said through gritted teeth.

 

"Any other little clue would be helpful," Cynthia spat out trying not to sound too sarcastic.

 

"The one with the projected costs of ads in Vanity Fair."

 

"This one?" she asked picking up a sheet of paper lying on the top of the pile of folders.

 

"Yeah," Brian snapped grabbing it ungraciously out of her hand.

 

"Boss, I know you don't like to talk about personal things, but you're getting on my nerves," Cynthia said taking matters into her own hands.

 

Brian snorted.  "I am the boss."  
  
"And that does not give you the right to screech at me every five minutes," Cynthia said firmly.

 

"I do not screech."  
  
"Bellow, then."  
  
"I … I'll try not to … bellow," Brian said grudgingly, but knowing that she was right.  He had been in a foul mood ever since Justin Taylor had failed to show up at the bar last night.  He knew he was being even more foul than he usually was, or Cynthia wouldn't have bothered to say anything.  Kinnetik had learned to work around his caustic demeanor … most of the time.

 

"That would be appreciated," Cynthia said with a sigh.  "Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?"

 

Brian studied her.  He didn't know how he had been so fortunate to find her, and have her stick by him through everything that had happened.  He really should be more appreciative … and nicer.  "There's nothing you can do," he said simply.  "Thanks for the offer but … nothing."

 

The bellowing and yelling toned down for an hour or two.  However at noon, Brian was heard on the intercom.  "Theodore, get in here … NOW!"

 

Ted hustled into Brian's office carrying a single sheet of paper.

 

"It's noon," Brian stated.  "Where is it?"  
  
"Um … I … um."  
  
"Theodore!"

 

"I found three things that you might be interested in," Ted said uncertainly.

 

"And what the fuck might they be?"

 

"Well … um, there's a store on Liberty looking for a silent partner.  It could be a good investment," Ted put forward haltingly.

 

"And what does this emporium sell?"

 

"Health foods."  
  
"Fuck health foods!" Brian exploded.  "I don't want any part of that."  
  
"But…"

 

"What part of I don't like it, didn't you understand?"  Brian looked daggers at his hapless friend and employee.

 

"Okay, then, right … there's a small business looking for investors," Ted began.  "They make customized mouse pads for computers."  Ted held his breath.

 

"Aren't they about twenty years behind the curve?  I don't even use a fucking mouse pad anymore.  Is this the best you could come up with?"  
  
"Well … there's one more thing, but I know you don't go there much anymore," Ted said.  He hoped Brian didn't rip his balls off for suggesting this.  Brian raised a brow and Ted continued.  "It's Babylon."  
  
"Babylon?" Brian asked with true surprise.

 

"Sapperstein has been cooking the books.  He owes all kinds of back taxes and sales tax.  The club will be up for sale at any moment."  
  
"And how do you know this?"

 

"I have connections," Ted said simply.

 

Brian frowned.  At one time he would have enjoyed owning Babylon, and all the perks that entailed.  And tail was definitely one of them.  He smiled to himself.  

 

"So, are you interested?" Ted asked hopefully, thinking that the smile meant his suggestion had found favor with Brian.

 

Brian snorted.  "What do I want with a rundown club?  I don't care if they burn the fucking thing down."  
  
"But…"  
  
"Find something else, Theodore.  Take more time and make it good."  
  
"Okay," Ted said slowly.  "I'll keep looking."  He turned to leave thinking that he had got off easily.

 

"And the next time I ask you, you better have something exemplary to tell me about."  
  
"Yes, Boss," Ted muttered as he made his escape.

 

"I see you didn't get skinned alive," Cynthia said as Ted scampered out of Brian's office.

 

"Close."  
  
"He didn't like any of your suggestions?" she asked.

 

Ted shook his head.  "I thought Babylon might interest him, but no such luck."  
  
"I thought you said he never went to Babylon anymore," Cynthia remarked.

 

"He doesn't, not since _'you know who'_ left.  But I thought it might interest him anyway."

 

"Well, happy hunting," she wished him as she went back to her desk.

 

Ted knew he was going to need more than happy hunting; he was going to need a fucking miracle.

 

*****

 

Brian walked into Flanagan's a little after nine.  He had stayed at Kinnetik fixing the boards for the Eyeconics presentation the following day.  He was royally pissed that his art department had taken his excellent ideas and turned them into crap on paper.  He had made them all stay until they were the way he wanted them.  Now they would be perfect for his meeting with the queen bitch from Eyeconics in the morning.

 

Looking around, Brian felt his heart sink as there was no blond head visible anywhere.  He sat down at the bar and ordered a boilermaker.  Casey promptly placed the drinks in front of Brian.

 

"Slow night?" Brian asked not that he cared, but he wondered if Casey might indicate if Justin had been in.

 

"Not too bad," Casey smiled.  "Especially when you come in."  
  
Brian snorted.  It was nice to be wanted somewhere even if it was only at this fucking bar … and only for his money.  It couldn't be for his golden personality.  "Have … have you seen anything of the guy I was talking to a couple of nights ago?" Brian dared to ask.  He felt foolish doing so, but he really wanted to talk to Justin again.

 

"Oh, the blond.  No, he hasn't been in."  
  
"I guess he's getting ready for the first week of classes at PIFA," Brian added.

 

"Probably.  I haven't had too many people in from there yet.  It'll pick up later in September."  
  
'Shit,' Brian thought.  Did he have to wait the better part of a month to see Justin again? He threw back his shot and started to sip his beer.  This was getting old fast.  He might as well go home.

 

Just as he stood up, he sensed a change in the room and turned to see Justin Taylor standing hesitantly by the door.

 

"Hey," Brian called to him.

 

"Hey," Justin smiled as he walked across the room towards Brian.  "It looks like you were about to leave."

 

"Not at all," Brian said sitting back down.  Justin smiled that radiant smile and sat down on the stool next to him.  "The usual?" Brian asked.  Justin nodded and Brian signaled to Casey.  "So, what have you been up to?" Brian asked in a feeble attempt to make small talk.  He never made small talk, but then he never hung around a bar waiting for a certain guy to appear either.

 

"I got moved into my place and I think I'm ready to start the first of my classes on Monday."  
  
"What will that class be?"

 

Justin studied Brian for a moment. "A life class."  
  
"Oh, is that the one with all the nice dicks to draw?"

 

Justin laughed.  "Or boobs.  There's no guarantee the model will be male."

 

"Oh fuck!  Kill me now," Brian said in mock terror of being confronted by the aforementioned pair.  
  
"It's kind of strange," Justin said reflectively.  "I'm older than almost all the other students.  I … I kind of feel out of place."  Justin took that moment to sneeze three times at the mention of his age.

 

"Gesundheit," Brian chuckled.

 

"Thanks," Justin replied rubbing at his nose and then taking a sip of his beer.

 

"I bet the other students don't realize that you're older.  You look young."  
  
"Yeah, but I know.  I feel … ridiculous.  I probably will never make it as an artist.  Few people do."  
  
"I think you're … brave to try this.  If it's what you want to do, then go for it."  
  


"Thanks, I guess I needed a little pep talk."  
  
"My friends say I give ones that can't be ignored," Brian smirked thinking of some of the rather harsh but truthful things he had said to some of them.

 

"I guess you're a good friend."  
  
Brian snorted.  "There are some that would disagree with you." 'More than some,' he thought to himself.

 

"Um … I was wondering," Justin began hesitantly.

 

"You were?" Brian asked tongue in cheek.

 

"Do you know any gay clubs around here?"

 

"There's really only one worth going to," Brian said.  "Babylon."  
  
"Sounds decadent."  
  
"It is, but it's an okay club … for Pittsburgh.  I bet you have a lot better in New York."  
  
"I used to really love the clubs for a while.  But it gets kind of old."  Justin proceeded to sneeze three more times.

 

"Yeah … old," Brian repeated fighting back some unpleasant memories.  He said, "Gesundheit" once again, and managed to sound sincere.

 

"Thanks.  Um, tomorrow's Saturday.  Would you like to go to Babylon with me?" Justin asked.

 

"Like a date?" Brian asked with a frown.

 

"Well, more like a friend showing a new friend his old haunts."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose we could do that," Brian said thoughtfully.

 

"That would be great," Justin smiled that smile.

 

"Actually, it'll give me a chance to look over the place.  I'm thinking about buying it."  
  
"Wow!  You are?  That sounds like a major investment."  
  
"It could prove to be very profitable if it's handled properly," Brian smirked.  He waggled his eyebrows at Justin and they both laughed.

 

'And I bet you're just the man to handle it.'

 

Brian smiled.  He could be that man.  Maybe Ted's idea wasn't so far fetched.  And besides, a little trip to Babylon with a gorgeous blond might be just what the fucking doctor ordered.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian Kinney walked into Babylon.  He was alone, but he knew heads were turning as he made his way to the bar.  Even at thirty-five he could still command attention.  He hadn't been at his once favorite club for months.

 

He ordered a double scotch and threw it back.  The amber liquid burned pleasantly all the way down.  Brian had felt like crap for so long now that it was nice to feel something, even the burn of liquor.  Ordering another, Brian turned and leaned back against the edge of the bar.  He surveyed his domain, or what used to be his domain when he was the stud of Liberty Avenue.  Maybe he could regain that title once again.

 

Gazing out over the floor of Babylon, Brian saw the same old tricks.  He'd had most of them before, and he didn't do repeats.  A dirty blond was staring at him, even while the guy was dancing with someone else.  Brian smirked at the look.  He knew it well.  The guy would do, if he didn't spot anything better.

 

Brian made his way up onto the catwalk carrying another scotch with him.  He looked down at the dance floor.  The bodies writhed and collided and shimmied beneath him.  He spotted a dark haired young man that he had never seen before.  His eyes bored into the man's skull, and suddenly the hottie turned and looked up.  His eyes met Brian's and a smile creased his face.  Brian nodded and made his way down the stairs.  He finished his drink on the way down.  By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, the dark young man was waiting for him.  

 

"Wanna dance?" Brian asked.

 

"I wanna fuck," the man replied.

 

"Back room."

 

Quickly they made their way to the backroom and found a spare piece of wall.  Brian pushed his trick back against it and started to plunder the willing mouth.  As the intensity of the kiss escalated, Brian felt the man's hand reach down and squeeze his dick through the worn denim of his jeans.  He gave a little gasp as he felt himself grow hard.  This was going to be good.

 

He continued kissing the man, feeling the buttons pop on his jeans as the trick slid his hand inside.  Brian stuck his tongue halfway down the guy's throat.  The trick slid down and knelt in front of Brian.  He pulled Brian's semi-hard dick from his jeans and placed his mouth around the head.  Brian leaned against the wall as he let the old familiar feelings course through him.  This was what he had needed.

 

And then it happened.  The trick fondled Brian's balls with one hand and Brian winced.  The guy was going to know.  He would find out and he would laugh.  Then everyone in the back room, in all of Liberty Avenue would be laughing at him.  A tiny whimper escaped Brian's throat and he felt his dick go soft.  

 

"Hey man, what happened?" the trick asked looking up at Brian.  His hand massaged Brian's cock trying to stimulate him.  

 

Brian drew back, his limp cock falling out of the trick's hand.  He quickly stuffed it back in his jeans and walked as fast as he could, without running, out of the back room.

 

Brian sat up with a start.  Sweat poured from his body.  His mouth was dry and tasted horrible.  His breath came in short gasps.  He felt like shit.  How many times had he had that fucking dream?  Too many.

 

With a groan he slid off the bed in the loft and went into the bathroom.  He splashed some water on his face and looked up into the mirror.  The face that he saw there didn't look so different from the face he had seen only a few months ago, and yet, everything was different.

 

The dream he had just had, that he had had night after night for weeks, continued to haunt him. It had come to him less frequently lately, and he had thought maybe it was going to stop.  But now, that seemed wishful thinking.  He was sure his dream, his nightmare, would be what happened if he ever did venture back to his old stomping ground at Babylon.

 

And now in a moment of bravado and bragging he had agreed to take Justin Taylor there.  What the fuck had he been thinking?

 

*****

 

"Theodore?"

 

"Um … yes."  
  
"Is that how you always answer the phone?"

 

"If you ever called me, you would know."  
  
"I'm calling you now."  
  
"I know.  So what do you want, Brian?"  
  


"You can call me Boss."

 

"It's Saturday afternoon.  Why do I need to call you Boss?  I'm on my own time."  
  
"I want you to meet me at Babylon around ten tonight."  
  
"Babylon?"

 

"Yeah, you know, the place with all the sweaty, gyrating, manly bodies."

 

"I know what and where Babylon is.  What I don't know is why you are asking me to go there.  Is this like a … a date?"  
  
"Fuck, no!"  Brian let out a sigh.  He was calling Ted as a backup for his sort of date thing with Justin Taylor.  He would feel better if there were other people around that he knew and who could keep things on an even keel with Justin.  It was just supposed to be friends getting together.  And that was all he wanted it to be … yet.  "I've been rethinking the idea of owning Babylon.  I thought I'd check out the potential investment tonight."  
  
"Oh, so this is business."  
  
"In a manner of speaking."  
  
"I'll be happy to give you my expert judgment," Ted said formally.

 

"I want you to bring Emmett."  
  
"Emmett?  What for?  He doesn't know anything about investments or business."  
  
"He knows about clubs," Brian stated.

 

"Okay, okay, Babylon at ten."  
  
"Oh, and Theodore, try to wear something that won't make me ashamed to be seen in public with you."  
  
"Of course, Boss," Ted tried to say, but Brian had already hung up.

 

*****

 

Brian stood outside of Babylon.  It was almost ten, and he realized that he was nervous as hell.  He was on a fucking date, sort of.  He must have lost his mind.

 

He hoped Ted and Emmett were already inside.  He didn't want them to see him standing on the sidewalk waiting for someone.  Brian Kinney did not wait for people.  But that was exactly what he was doing.

 

Before Brian could get really frazzled about what he was doing, he saw Justin walking along the sidewalk towards him.  The man looked fine.  He was wearing tight leather pants and a gauzy kind of shirt.  Brian felt his cock swell at the sight.  If only he dared…

 

"Hey," Brian said as Justin approached.

 

"Hey, I hope I'm not late."  
  
"Not at all.  Let's go in."

 

Brian ushered Justin into the club.  They went to one of the bars on the main floor and Brian bought them drinks.  Justin had his usual Heineken and Brian had a scotch.  He wanted a double, but he opted for the shot instead.  He didn't want to get drunk too quickly.  There would be plenty of time after this date fiasco was over.

 

They leaned against the bar watching the men dance.  Justin noticed that Brian got many looks and a couple of very obvious invitations.  Brian shook his head each time.  Justin found that quite touching, even though they weren't technically together, Justin appreciated having Brian by his side until he got the feel of the place.

 

Brian watched men ogle Justin.  He could hardly blame them.  Justin was a model and a helluva good looking guy.  Justin seemed oblivious to what was going on.  He smiled and commented on some of the dancers but never let on that he was being hit on.  Brian found this strange but rather endearing that the man stayed with him and didn't head off at the first invitation.  Justin could have already been in the back room if he had wanted to be.

 

"Wanna dance?" Justin asked rather shyly.

 

"Um … sure," Brian replied.  He followed Justin out onto the dance floor.

 

Brian knew he wasn't a very good dancer, but it wasn't his dancing that was the attraction.  He moved a little bit as he watched Justin get into the music.  Justin seemed to feel the rhythms deep inside and he responded in an exuberant but very sexy way.  Brian felt himself grow hard as he pulled Justin against his body and they started to grind into each other.  By the end of the song they were sweating and very hard.

 

"Want to go to the back room?" Justin whispered almost shyly.

 

Brian didn't know what to say to that.  He wanted to go to the back room with Justin.  He so wanted that.  But he feared the result.  He opened his mouth to say something when he heard another voice.

 

"Brian!  Over here," Ted called.  He and Emmett were leaning against the bar.

 

Brian looked up relieved not to have to answer Justin's question.  "That's Ted and Emmett," he said instead.  "Come meet them."  
  
Justin followed Brian over to the bar.  Brian made the introductions and then ordered a round of drinks.

 

"I could swear I've seen you someplace before," Emmett observed staring at Justin.

 

"You probably have," Brian smirked.  "Justin's a model."

 

"Oh my fucking God, Calvin Klein underwear!" Emmett was practically shouting.

 

"Among other things," Justin admitted.

 

"How did Brian find you?" Ted asked looking at his boss for an explanation.

 

"Um … he didn't find me.  We kind of bumped into each other and started talking," Justin said slowly.

 

"Talking!" both Ted and Emmett said simultaneously.

 

"Yeah, you know that thing where you move your lips and sounds come out," Brian snarked.  He hoped that would shut them both up.

 

"I can't imagine why Brian would want to talk when…" Emmett began.  Brian's glare stopped him.

 

"It's nice to meet you," Ted said extending his hand to Justin.  He could tell by Brian's demeanor that they needed to get off the topic of how they met and talking and whatever the fuck else they had been saying.

 

"Hey," a voice said from behind Justin.  "Wanna dance?"

 

Justin turned to see a nice looking young man staring at him.  "Um … no thanks," Justin said.

 

"You should … go dance … enjoy yourself," Brian told him hoping to get Justin to forget about the invitation to the back room.

 

"Well, I… Um … sure, if you like," Justin stammered and allowed himself to be drawn out onto the dance floor.

 

"Why did you let him get away?" Emmett demanded.  "He's a great looking guy."  
  
"He … he's not my type," Brian said lamely.

 

"Since when is a gorgeous guy like that not your type?" Ted wanted to know.

 

"I think I've seen enough of Babylon for tonight," Brian said hastily.  "Put an offer in tomorrow, Ted.  I'll see you at the office."  Brian started to walk away.  
  
"But what about Justin?" Emmett called after him.

 

"Tell him … something came up, and I had to leave.  He's a big boy.  He can get himself home."

 Ted and Emmett stared in disbelief as Brian walked out of Babylon.


	5. Chapter 5

Sunday Brian stayed at the loft never leaving for a minute.  He surfed the web looking at porn and trying to forget about Justin Taylor and what had happened at Babylon.  He tried to work and forget about Justin Taylor.  He even tried to cook a fucking pasta dish and forget about Justin Taylor.  He ended up pitching the whole revolting thing down the garbage chute.

 

He wanted to talk to Justin, but he knew he could never explain why he had left him at Babylon.  How could he explain that he was a fucking coward?  He had loved their talks at Flanagan's.  He had felt like they were really connecting in a way that he never had with another man.  Not even…  And then Justin had to go and invite him to Babylon … and then to the back room.

 

Brian let out a long sigh and picked up the phone.  He would have liked to call Justin.  They had finally exchanged numbers, but he was sure Justin would either blow him off or demand an explanation.  He couldn't handle either of those.  Finally he hit speed dial and ordered some Thai.  Maybe his favorite food would make him feel better.

 

Brian was just picking away at some of the Thai food in the container when the phone rang.  He hesitated wondering who it could be.  The caller ID told him that it was Justin.  Brian frowned and debated letting the machine pick up.  Just before it did, he pushed the talk button.

 

"Hey," he said like nothing had happened.

 

"Where did you go?" Justin asked.

 

Brian could hear the hurt and disappointment in his voice.  "Um … something came up."  
  
"That's what Ted told me.  Do you want to tell me what the something was?"

 

"The something was … um … surely Ted could have filled that in for you."  
  
"Fuck Ted and fuck you!  If you didn't want to be with me, all you had to do was fucking say so."  
  
"Justin, I…"

 

"It's too late for explanations.  Last night was when that should have happened.  I waited all day to hear from you."  
  
"I … um, I couldn't…"

 

"Fuck it, Brian!  Do you know that you say 'um' right before you tell a lie?"

 

"What?"  That one really took Brian by surprise.  "I don't lie," he said defensively.

 

"The fuck you don't!"

 

"I … I'm sorry about last night," Brian admitted.  He was at a loss for what else to say.

 

"At least you didn't put an 'um' in front of that one," Justin chuckled.

 

"Great," Brian said with a touch of irony.

 

"Look, I like you as a friend.  I probably shouldn't have asked you to the back room, but I wanted you and … it felt like you wanted me too."

 

"I did," Brian said managing to force the words out.

 

"Then, what's the problem.  I don't get it."  Justin shook his head into the phone.  He truly did not understand what had happened between them.

 

"There's … there's some things you don't know," Brian said reluctantly.  He wanted to add that Justin would never know them.  No one ever could.

 

"Then why don't you enlighten me?" Justin asked.  "Flanagan's in twenty minutes."

 

The line went dead before Brian could say anything else.  Brian stared at the phone.  That was an ultimatum to put it mildly, and Brian Kinney didn't do ultimatums.  But it had come from Justin Taylor, and Brian knew that he didn't want to lose that … friendship.  If only they could maintain that without having to face the specter of Brian's imperfections.

 

Brian paced the loft wondering what he should do.  He could just ignore Justin's summons.  He could finish his decidedly unpalatable Thai food and curl up on the sofa to watch a movie.  Or he could stand up like a man and go meet Justin.  Maybe he could find the right words to say to make everything okay.  Maybe he wouldn't have to tell Justin the truth.

 

After several minutes of indecision Brian picked up his keys and headed downstairs.  When he arrived at Flanagan's he had to force himself to go inside.  The coward part of him just wanted to turn tail and run.  The better, more noble part of him, wanted to stay friends with Justin.  At the very least he didn't want to leave Justin wondering what the fuck had happened.

 

He pushed open the door to the bar and entered.  He could see Justin sitting at the bar nursing a Heineken.  Slowly, like the condemned man he believed himself to be, he approached the bar.  

 

"Boilermaker," Brian ordered.  "Bring it over to the table," he added deciding that if he was going to have to talk, the least he could have was some privacy.  He turned around and headed for the most secluded table far from anyone else in the bar.

 

Justin watched Brian, noting that he did not make eye contact with him.  He knew that didn't bode well for them settling anything.  He watched Brian turn and walk over to a table at the back of the bar.  For a moment he wondered if he was even invited to sit with Brian.  With a sigh, he pushed himself up off the bar stool and followed Brian.  He and Casey and Brian's drink arrived at almost the same time.  

 

Casey set the drink down and beat a hasty retreat.  He didn't know what was going on between the two men, but he could cut the tension in the air with a dull knife.

 

"May I?" Justin asked indicating the chair across the small table from Brian.

 

Brian nodded.  "This was your fucking idea."  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Justin asked as he flopped down into the chair.  "Everything was fine until we went to Babylon.  What happened?"  
  
Brian frowned.  How could he possibly explain?  "I … um, I had to leave in a hurry."

 

"You said 'um'," Justin told him.

 

"Well, there goes your theory.  That is not a lie.  I had to … leave."  
  
"Why?  Couldn't you have taken a minute to tell me you were going?"  
  
"Justin, I… um…"  Brian watched Justin's eyebrows go up and he knew he couldn't lie.  "Okay, okay, I … I used to be in a relationship," Brian said so soft and low that Justin could barely hear him.

 

"So?" Justin asked with a frown.  He had been in relationships before.  What did that have to do with anything?  He waited for Brian to explain.

 

"His name was Garnet Kendall."

 

When Brian hesitated, Justin said, "Yeah?"

 

"He … he was perfect.  He had these huge blue eyes, and black hair with just the right amount of wave in it.  He was long and lean and sexy as hell," Brian added with a far away look in his eyes.

 

Justin sighed.  Sounded like Brian was still in love with this guy.  "What happened?  Did he die?"

 

Brian's eyes snapped onto Justin's, and Justin saw the hurt and despair that clouded them.  "There was a time that I wished he had died.  In fact, maybe I still do," Brian whispered shaking his head at this admission of how much Garnet had hurt him, and how hard it was to face that fact even now.

 

"He really hurt you, didn't he?" Justin asked as his hand spread across Brian's where it lay on the table.  He squeezed gently to let Brian know that he was there for him.  He waited for Brian to answer.

 

"He hurt me more than I can ever admit," Brian said trying to keep his voice from cracking.  He didn't seem to realize that he had just disclosed the depths of that hurt.

 

Justin squeezed Brian's hand again.  "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."  
  
"I'm not sure I can," Brian admitted.

 

"Maybe another time."  
  
"Maybe."  Brian knew he was avoiding the issue, but he felt like he was about to fall apart and he couldn't stand it.

 

"So, is this Garnet why you had to leave Babylon?" Justin asked.  "Was he there?"  
  
"Fuck no!  He never liked the club scene, although that's where I met him."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Ironic, isn't it?"  
  
"Kind of."  
  
"Why did you say he was perfect?"

 

"Because he was … is."  
  
"You still think so?"

 

Brian nodded.  "Any guy at Babylon or anywhere else would give their eyeteeth to be with him."  
  
"That's how you felt?"

 

Brian nodded.  "Yeah."  
  
"I don't think he was so perfect," Justin declared.

 

"How would you know?  You've never even seen him."

 

"He left you, and that makes him stupid, not perfect."  Brian let out a strangled laugh.  "You look like the perfect one to me," Justin added softly.

 

"We used to laugh about that.  We were the perfect couple.  Everybody envied us, wanted to be us, wanted to be with us."

 

"So what happened to the perfect couple?" Justin had to ask.  He felt anger or jealousy or something. He wasn't sure what.

 

"I'm far from perfect."  
  
"And I bet he is too."  
  
This time Brian shook his head.  "You don't know the whole story."  
  
"Do I need to?"

 

"Probably, but maybe not right now.  I could use another drink."  Brian signaled to Casey for another round.

 

After the drinks arrived, Justin looked at Brian who was studiously staring into his glass.  "I know you don't want to talk about this, but I get the feeling that you really need to.  I'm a good listener."

 

"I know you are.  You already know more about this than anyone else."  
  
"I do?"

 

Brian nodded.  "I haven't told anyone the whole story.  Only Garnet and I really know what happened."

 

"It … it must be hard keeping all that inside," Justin said sympathetically.

 

"Not so hard when it's a way of life."  
  
"A way of life?"

 

"I … I have always kept my business to myself.  Even my best friend only knows what I want him to know."  
  
"Doesn't he pester you or demand to know or encourage you to talk about it?" Justin asked somewhat bewildered by that statement.  What kind of a best friend left Brian to fend for himself at such a horrible time?

 

"Mikey's not as persistent as you," Brian said with a crooked smile.  He was also thinking that Michael was a lot more gullible.  He tended to believe Brian when he said nothing was wrong.

 

"I have been called tenacious," Justin giggled.

 

"Have you now?"

 

"When I want something, I go after it."  
  
"No shit!" Brian laughed.  Justin was starting to make him feel better.

 

"Would you like to come back to my place and we could talk more privately?" Justin asked thinking that they were making real progress.  Immediately Justin could feel the difference in Brian.  It was like a wall went up and the Brian who had been talking to him retreated into some unknown place.

 

"I … I have to work tomorrow," Brian stammered.  "I should be heading home."  
  
"Of course," Justin replied regretting having made such a suggestion.  "I just wanted to talk some more."  
  
"Maybe some other time," Brian said standing up.  He walked towards the bar to pay his tab and left Justin sitting dejectedly at the table.

 

Justin watched Brian as he talked to Casey.  He had merely intended to have Brian come back to his apartment to continue their talk.  Instead he had effectively cut off all interaction.  What did Brian think was going to happen if they went to Justin's place?  Surely he didn't think Justin would try to jump him.  Justin had to chuckle at the absurdity of that.  Not that he wouldn't enjoy a sexual encounter with Brian Kinney.  It was in fact very tempting.  He had to wonder what this Garnet had done to Brian to make the man so timid and skittish when it came to sex.

 

Brian got in his car and banged his head against the steering wheel.  He was such a fucking idiot.  He knew that Justin just wanted to talk, but he couldn't take the chance that it might go farther than talk.  He just couldn't risk that.

 

He yanked his cell phone out of his pocket and hit a familiar number.  "The usual," he said after identifying himself.  "Make sure he knows the rules."  Brian snapped his phone shut and gunned the car out of the parking lot.

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Get out."

 

"Huh?"

 

"You heard me.  Get out!" Brian repeated.

 

The young hustler threw his legs over the side of the bed and reached for his jeans.  "Asshole," he mumbled under his breath.

 

"I have excellent hearing," Brian felt compelled to say.  "Get dressed and get out.  Keep your comments to yourself."  
  
The young man muttered to himself all the way to the door of the loft.

 

"And don't slam the door," Brian said as the hustler closed the door with a wrenching clang.  Brian wondered if it was still on its track.  "Well, that was less than stimulating," he observed to the rafters as he lit a cigarette and stared up at them.

 

He rubbed his hand over his eyes and wondered why his life was so fucked.  He had enjoyed meeting Justin and talking to him earlier that evening.  He didn't know what it was about the young man that he found so appealing.  He felt like he could tell Justin almost anything, and Justin wouldn't judge him.  He had told Justin more than he had intended.  Even revealing some of his secrets had seemed okay as long as it was Justin he was telling.  But he had refused to reveal everything.  He just couldn't.  He didn't want anyone to know.

 

And so he had reverted to ordering a hustler.  If Justin hadn't mentioned going back to his place, that wouldn't have been necessary.  Brian had felt himself get hard in anticipation of being with Justin.  They had both felt the attraction at Babylon.  Brian knew they both did.  But he had chickened out that night and again tonight.  He just couldn't risk Justin finding out.  That would make things even worse than they already were.

 

Brian got up from the bed and headed for the bar cart.  It was after midnight but he had several hours of good drinking left if he paced himself.  Sleep seemed out of the question.

 

A couple of hours and the better part of a bottle of Beam later, Brian still couldn't get Justin Taylor out of his head.  What the fuck was the matter with him?  Justin was everything that Brian normally avoided.  He was blond and cheerful and short.  Brian went for tall, dark and brooding.  They usually never wanted to talk.  They just wanted to fuck, and that was what Brian had always wanted too.

 

That was until he met Garnet Kendall.  Garnet met the first two parts of Brian's criteria, that was for sure.  The brooding part was a different matter.  They had met at Babylon, one night about three years ago.  They had been instantly attracted and Brian had thought that a one night stand with Garnet would be the proper cap to a good weekend of fucking.

 

Garnet had resisted the back room, saying that he didn't like the idea of fucking in front of other horny guys.  He liked having his partner's exclusive attention.  Therefore, they had headed for Garnet's townhouse.  As it turned out, it rivaled Brian's loft as a fuck pad.  Brian had been very impressed.

 

They had come together with explosive passion.  They had fucked so many times that night that neither of them could move the next morning.  Brian couldn't remember ever having a more intense encounter in his whole life of fucking.  Garnet said much the same thing about Brian. 

 

They had pried themselves apart and climbed into the shower together.  The fuck in there was memorable too.  Brian smiled at the memory.  They had actually fucked each other off their feet and had ended up in a heap on the floor of the shower.  That was one of the first times that Brian had ever called in sick to work.  He told Cynthia that he wouldn't be in until the next day.  Then he and Garnet had continued to fuck the day away.  They only stopped long enough for Garnet to call his law office and report in sick too, and to order in some takeout since they needed to keep up their strength.

 

Good times, Brian thought with a smile.  Too bad they never lasted.  He took another swig of the Beam.

 

The gay world of Pittsburgh had anointed them the perfect couple, and they were for over a year.  They went to all the best parties and gatherings.  They were always in the limelight, two successful gay men who had found each other.  They had a seemingly perfect relationship.  

 

Brian moved into Garnet's townhouse as it had more space and was better suited for entertaining.  Garnet wanted Brian to sell the loft and they could get a larger house together.  Some part of Brian refused to relinquish the loft.  He never really understood why he couldn't give it up.  But he knew deep inside that he couldn't.

 

Maybe it had to do with the fact that although they had a seemingly perfect relationship, they never talked about love or the future or where they were going … together.  It was like two separate entities that had come together for glorious sex.  They were the envy of everyone who saw them.  And as someone who never believed in love or relationships, what they had suited Brian just fine.  They had more sex than anyone could imagine, they lived in a great house with invitations to all the best events, they were looked up to and admired.  Everything seemed perfect if a little superficial.

 

And then the unthinkable happened.  Brian refused to think about that.  He couldn't.  He wouldn't.  And then not long after Garnet left him.

 

Brian felt a tear run down his cheek.  He quickly brushed it away.  He didn't know why the fuck he was crying over this.  It wasn't like Garnet was the love of his life, his soulmate.  Hell, he didn't even believe in such things.  Garnet was a great fuck, but then so was he.  They had had a great time together until it all fell apart.  Nothing to cry over.

 

It still hurt when Garnet left him, especially _when_ Garnet left him.  He was so alone and so … abandoned.  Just like every other person who had been important to him in his life.  They had all abandoned him, if not physically, certainly emotionally.  Jack and Joan had always been remote.  Lindsay had loved him but then she had found Mel and that was the end of that, especially considering the way Mel felt about him.  And Michael and Debbie, they had their own lives, especially now that Deb was dating Carl and Michael had found the professor.  

 

Brian was pretty much alone, and most of the time he didn't care.  But on days like today, he had to wonder what the fuck was wrong with him?  Why did he always get left behind while everybody else moved on with their lives?  Maybe that's why Justin Taylor had appealed to him so much.  He seemed so casual and friendly with no demands, kind of like it had been with Garnet in the beginning.  But that had been a sexual thing, and that certainly wasn't the case with Justin.  Brian had been avoiding anything sexual with Justin since they had first met.  Sure the attraction was there.  But even if they had those kinds of feelings for each other, nothing was ever going to happen.

 

With a sigh Brian staggered back up the steps and flopped down on the bed.  That was enough reminiscing and fucking self-examination for one day.  He fell into a troubled slumber.

 

*****

 

At Kinnetik a sleep deprived and cranky Brian Kinney barked out orders and terrorized his staff.  Nothing seemed to meet with his approval.  He sent boards back and reamed out his ad execs.  They all wished the day would soon be over, but no more than Brian did.

 

He was so fucking angry and restless … and angry.  He couldn't even understand why he felt this way, but he did.  He kept thinking about Justin Taylor's smiling face, and that didn't make him feel any better.  He had walked out on Justin's invitation to his place.  He couldn't expect Justin to call him after that.  Brian's fingers itched to call Justin, but he was afraid.  Afraid that Justin would tell him to fuck off because of the way he had bolted from Flanagan's.  Afraid that Justin would invite him over to his apartment once again, and he would have to refuse.  Afraid that Justin might want to go on another "date" and he didn't think he could do that.  It wouldn't be fair to either of them to lead Justin on.  Afraid that Justin wouldn't even answer his fucking call.  

 

And fear made Brian angry.  He hated feeling afraid, as he had done over the last months.  It had been the worst period of his life, still was.  So, angry Brian took out his frustration on his staff.  They avoided him as much as they possibly could.

 

Taking his life into his hands, Ted Schmidt tapped on Brian's door late that afternoon.

 

"Enter," Brian said imperiously when he saw who it was.

 

"You sounded just like Captain Picard," Ted joked hoping to improve Brian's mood.  

 

"What do you want, Schmidt?"

 

Ted immediately became serious and started to explain.  "Um … The option to purchase Babylon is available if you … um … if you want to pursue it."  
  
"And why the fuck would I want to pursue that?" Brian demanded.

 

"But you said … when we went to Babylon … you said … that you…"

 

"Well, I've changed my mind," Brian said bluntly.

 

"So you're not interested in buying the place?"

 

"No."  
  
"Okay then," Ted said backing towards the door.  "It's your decision."  
  
Brian frowned.  "Are you implying that I've made the wrong decision?"

 

"Oh no, never.  I wouldn't imply any such thing," Ted said quickly.

 

"But that's what you think, isn't it?"  
  
"Well … I, um … I…"

 

"Oh for fuck's sake, spit it out!  What do you think?"  
  
"I've looked at the books.  The place has a lot of potential if it was in the right hands," Ted managed to get out.

 

"And you think those hands are mine?" Brian asked with a smirk.  Schmidt better not be playing him or he'd have his ass for brunch.  "Shit!" Brian said aloud when he thought about the image he had just created in his own mind.

 

"What?" Ted looked askance at Brian.

 

"Nothing, nothing at all," Brian said shaking his head.  "You didn't answer my question," he added glaring at Ted.

 

"I'm not sure I want to," Ted said suddenly deciding that he had done enough groveling.  If Brian wanted his advice he was going to have to treat him a little better.

 

"You don't fucking want to?" Brian asked in disbelief.  "Did I hear you right?"

 

"I don't know what's happened to make you even more obnoxious than you already were, but the staff and I are sick of it.  If you want my advice you can ask nicely," Ted stated.

 

Brian's eyebrows just about disappeared into his hairline as he stared at his bold and brazen accountant.  How dare Ted Schmidt say that to him?  And then Brian's eyebrows came back into view and his face softened.  "Have I really been that bad?" he asked in a low voice.

 

"Worse!" Ted declared.  In for a penny, in for a pound.

 

"Worse?"

 

"Worse."  
  
"Fuck!" Brian said.

 

"Look, Brian, I hate being the bearer of bad news, but there is either going to be a mutiny and a beheading or you're going to find a lot of resignations on your desk in the next few days."

 

"Are those the only alternatives?" Brian asked as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

 

"You could try being a little nicer to your employees," Ted ventured to suggest.

 

"I could, could I?"

 

"Yeah," Ted said standing his ground.

 

"I'll take your advice under … advisement," Brian said with a smirk.  Sometimes he was good with words.  Hell, he was always good with words.  He watched a little smile play around Ted's mouth.

 

"That would be a good decision."

 

"So, what's the verdict on Babylon?"

 

"If you want a new venture, I think it's the one.  Great potential, a lot going for it."

 

"Make an offer," Brian said out of the blue.

 

"Just like that?"

 

"Just like that."  

 

Ted grinned and said, "Will do."  He headed for the door of the office.

 

"Oh Theodore," Brian called stopping him in his tracks.  Ted turned to look at Brian.  "You better be right about Babylon, or the next beheading will be yours."  
  
"Yes, Boss," Ted said with an involuntary shudder.

           

  

      


	7. Chapter 7

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur.  With the purchase of Babylon happening so fast, Brian had to start thinking about what he wanted to do with the club.  It needed something to bring it back up to date and increase the number of customers.  When Brian wasn't thinking about Babylon, he had a couple of new accounts that took most of his time and thought.  He barely had time to think about Justin Taylor.  Barely … but somehow he still found his mind wandering to the delectable blond.

 

He and Ted closed the deal on Babylon quickly and Brian moved to initiate some improvements at the club.  He wanted to paint some of the grubbier areas and update the restrooms.  He also wanted to add some more seating to the catwalk level.  Ted rounded up bids on the painting and refurbishing jobs and they went ahead quickly.  Because the club was closed during the day, the workmen could get a lot accomplished before the club opened in the evening.  They could rope off areas where paint was still wet or where something wasn't quite finished.

 

According to Ted the changes were progressing well, as per Brian's instructions.  Brian had not been in the club since the night he had run out on Justin.  He couldn't bring himself to go in.  He relied on Ted to carry out his wishes once the club was his.

 

Now that the renovations were almost finished, Ted told Brian that he should come to the club for the official opening under the new management.  Despite Brian's protests Ted elicited a promise from Brian that he would be there on the following Saturday night.  All of Brian's "family" would be there too.

 

In the meantime, Brian had some serious problems with a new men's hair care line that they had landed as an account.  The CEO was a hands-on kind of guy and in spite of liking the direction that Brian had proposed for their new advertising campaign, he didn't like any of the models that Brian had suggested as the face of High Life Hair Care.  He was driving Brian insane with his demands and rejections of models.

 

Brian spent days going through portfolios of potential "faces" for these products.  They had finally agreed that rather than one spokesman they would have three, a blond, a brunet and a red head.  Now all they had to do was agree on the three men.  

 

After many failed attempts to come to agreement, the first person signed was the red head.  There were fewer models with natural red hair, and that meant they had fewer men to select from.  Brian had heaved a sigh of relief when that one was finally in the bag.

 

The debate over the brunet was a lot more drawn out.  They narrowed it down to three candidates, but couldn't seem to agree on which one.  The same thing had happened with the blond men.  This time they had two to choose from but neither of them was very satisfactory.  Finally Brian came up with the idea of hiring his favorite photographer and assembling all the candidates for a trial shoot.  They would look at how the men interacted and what image they projected.  Maybe photographing them would give Brian and the CEO a better idea of which ones would work together best and which would portray different images of the male gender.  They wanted to appeal to the widest range of men possible.

 

Having finally agreed on this plan of action, Brian booked them a shoot for the first date that they could all get together.  It was somewhat of a logistical nightmare, but with Cynthia's help they finally found a day that suited everyone involved.

 

Brian leaned back in his chair at Kinnetik.  He squeezed the ridge of his nose with his fingers.  He was fighting a headache.  High Life Hair Care was becoming a major pain in his ass, and they weren't even that big a company.  He needed to spend some time on his other clients, and maybe he could do that now that they had a few days before the shoot.

 

"Brian," Ted said coming into the office.  "I need to finalize a couple of things with you for the opening of the new and improved Babylon."  
  
"What is it now?" Brian asked closing his eyes and trying to not let the headache get the better of him.

 

"Here are the specs on a free round of drinks for Babylon.  Are you sure you want to do that?"

 

Brian took the sheet and looked at the projected cost of a free drink for every person who came to Babylon on the evening of the reopening.  It was pricey, but Brian was sure it would be worth it.  "Nothin' says a great time like a free drink."  
  
"Then you want to go ahead?"

 

"I think that's what I just said."

 

"This is going to cost a small fortune," Ted warned.

 

"It takes money to make money," Brian said philosophically.  "What we spend on a round of drinks will come back threefold if everything goes as it should."

 

"Okay."  
  
"Ted, thanks for looking after all this for me," Brian said doing his best imitation of sincere.

 

"Are you making fun of me?" Ted asked with his eyes very wide.

 

"You told me to be nicer.  I'm trying to follow your advice."  
  
"Really?"

 

"Why does that surprise you?"

 

"You never fucking listen to me … or anyone else for that matter."  
  
"Well, if you're right, you're right," Brian shrugged.

 

Ted could hardly believe his ears.  Brian was actually saying that Ted was right about something.  He felt the grin sneak across his face.

 

"That's all, Theodore," Brian said rubbing the bridge of his nose again.

 

"Right, Boss."  Ted started to head for the door.

 

"Theodore, don't expect to ever hear those words again."

 

*****

 

The night of the grand opening of the new Babylon came all too quickly.  Brian met Ted just after nine o'clock and was ushered into the club.  The tour showed Brian all the improvements and redecorating that had been done.  Brian was rather impressed that it had all come about seemingly without a hitch.

 

"I have to hand it to you, Theodore.  It's not bad."  
  
"Thanks, Boss," Ted beamed.  "In about ten minutes the doors will open and we'll see what the gay public of Pittsburgh thinks of it."  
  
"They better fucking love it."  
  
"Undoubtedly they will."  
  
"I need a drink," Brian said walking over to the bar.

 

"Vodka straight," he said to the bartender.

 

"Certainly, Brian," the guy smirked.

 

Brian supposed that he had done the guy somewhere along the line, but he would be hard pressed to say that he remembered him.  "That's Mr. Kinney to you.  I sign your paychecks."

 

The bartender looked crestfallen and sputtered, "Of course, sir, Mr. Kinney.  Sorry."  
  
Ted picked up his beer and clinked it against Brian's glass.  They drank to the success of this new venture.

 

"Let's open the doors and see what kind of a crowd we get for our first night," Brian said.

 

"I bet they're lined up around the block," Ted grinned.

 

"They fucking better be."  
  
Once the doors to Babylon opened, the steady stream of hot young men was quite awesome.  They picked up their drink voucher as they entered and most went directly to the bar to redeem it.  That seemed to get the night off to a great start.

 

A little after ten o'clock the family started arriving.  Michael came with Ben, kissed Brian and said the place looked incredible.  Emmett arrived and congratulated both Ted and Brian.  He then whisked Ted onto the dance floor.  Debbie and Carl swept in and proceeded to dance, much to the chagrin of all present.  Debbie beamed with pride at Brian.  She was also very proud of her current beau who proceeded to shake his booty with the best of them.  Lindsay and Melanie arrived last, having had trouble getting Gus to sleep before they could leave.  Gus was adamant that he wanted to go see his Daddy's new place, and nothing they said seemed to placate him.  They said they would get Brian to come visit him the next day and finally he cried himself to sleep.  Only then could they leave him with the babysitter.

 

The club was packed and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  Michael even managed to get Brian out onto the dance floor.  Brian had been wandering the club keeping an eye on his investment, but he finally gave in to Michael and danced with him.

 

As they walked back to the bar, Brian noticed a familiar face smiling at him.

 

"Justin, what are you doing here?" Brian asked.

 

"I hear this is the hottest club with the hottest guys, so how could I pass it up?"

 

"You definitely shouldn't," Brian smirked.  

 

Michael watched the two men and wondered what was going on.  He'd never seen this blond before.  "Brian?" he said.

 

"Order me a drink, Mikey.  I'll be along in a minute."  

 

Reluctantly Michael walked away, but he couldn't help a backward look at the blond.  Who the fuck was this guy?  Brian seemed more than interested and very civil.  This wasn't at all the way Brian acted around a trick.

 

"Your friend seems to have a problem with me," Justin chuckled.

 

"My friend has a problem with everybody that…"  Brian stopped there not sure how to finish that sentence.  He had been going to say that Michael had a problem with everybody that he was interested in, but he thought better of it.  He wasn't sure he wanted Justin to know that he was interested, although how he could not know was incomprehensible.  It was just that Brian couldn't act on it.  
  
"Care to finish that statement?" Justin asked.

 

Brian shook his head.  "No, I don't think so."  
  
"Then come dance with me."  
  
"Me?"

 

"Yes, you.  Remember we danced the night you invited me here."  
  
"I … I also left you here alone."  
  
"I'm a big boy.  I can look after myself, and I can also select my dancing partners.  I select you."  Justin beamed his best smile.

 

"You do, huh?"  Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek.

 

"Come on.  I want to dance."  Justin grabbed Brian's hand and it didn't take much to get him back onto the dance floor.  They swayed and moved together, Brian trying to make sure that he kept some distance, no matter how minute, between them.

 

When the song was over, Brian said, "Michael has a drink waiting for me."  
  
Justin's face fell before he could stop it.  "Sure, you go ahead.  I didn't mean to take you away from your friend."  
  
"You didn't.  Join me for a drink," Brian said not wanting to let Justin go yet.

 

Justin's smile immediately reappeared.  "I'd love to."  
  
They walked over to the bar where Brian introduced Justin to his friends.  They were very interested in this person that they had never seen before.  They watched Brian and how he treated the man.  It was a mystery waiting to be solved.

 

Brian quickly polished off his drink and grabbed Justin's hand.  "How about another dance?"

 

"Sure," Justin smiled leaving his beer on the bar.  He'd rather dance with Brian.

 

This time Justin pulled Brian close and they ground against each other.  Justin could feel Brian grow hard just like he already was.

 

"I want you," Justin whispered in Brian's ear.

 

Brian was almost ready to take Justin up on that offer when a familiar but totally unexpected voice said, "Look what I've found, Keith.  If it isn't the once and always Brian fucking Kinney."

 

"Garnet," Brian said trying to keep his face impassive.  "What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian could hear the slight tremor in his voice and it irritated the hell out of him.

 

"Same thing you are, I'm sure, testing out the new and improved Babylon.  Babylon is where Keith and I met."

 

"How sweet!" Brian replied, the bitterness clear in his voice.

 

"Keith just moved in with me.  He's perfect," Garnet gloated implying that somehow Brian wasn't.

 

"Congratulations," Brian said flatly hoping that Justin didn't see him flinch.

 

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your little friend?" Garnet grinned.

 

"No," Brian said and turned away.

 

"You should know," Garnet said in a voice loud enough to be heard even over the music, "he's not all he's cracked up to be."  And then Garnet and Keith laughed loud and long before walking away without a backward glance.

 

Brian stood like he was bolted to the dance floor.  Justin raised his hand and touched Brian's arm.  

 

"I'm sorry, Brian," he said gently.

 

"What the fuck are you sorry for?  I'm the idiot that was in a fucking relationship with him."

 

"Brian…"

 

"I have to go."  Brian picked up one of his uncooperative feet and placed it ahead of the other.  Once he got moving it was all he could do not to run from Babylon, but he managed to walk swiftly and decisively to the exit.  By the time he reached his car the tears were running down his face.  He just couldn't stop them.  Garnet had managed to ruin his big night … and Justin … and everything.

 

He climbed into the car and gunned it out of his spot.  An oncoming car managed to slam on its brakes in time, but Brian wished it had hit him, wished it had fucking killed him.

  


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days at Kinnetik were misery for everyone.  Brian was miserable so he made everyone else miserable too.  He didn't hear from Justin, not that he expected to.  He made himself stay away from Flanagan's knowing that if he ran into Justin he would have to explain.  He wasn't prepared to do that.  So, he continued being miserable.

 

The shoot with the models for High Life Hair Care was being conducted.  Brian and the CEO stood watching the models as they were being photographed.  The red head was a bit of a comedian and he lifted the spirits of all the others.  Both Brian and Mr. Sharpe, or Dick as he wanted to be called, were glad they had selected him.  As the combinations went on, one brunet began to stand out and they both knew he was the one.

 

However, the blonds all seemed rather insipid or too babyish or too blasé.  None of them complimented the other two models.  As the shoot finished up, Brian waited knowing that his work was not yet done.

 

"So what did you think?" Dick asked.

 

"We definitely take that brunet," Brian said gesturing to the one he liked.

 

"I agree totally," Dick replied.  "But I didn't see one of those blonds that was anything to write home about."

 

Reluctantly Brian had to agree.  "That's right, and there was no chemistry with the others."  
  
"Exactly, so what do we do?"

 

"I'm running out of people to choose from," Brian admitted.

 

"Well, try again.  Drag in some guy off the street if you have to.  I'll be in to see you tomorrow."  Dick turned and walked away.

 

"Right, Mr. Sharpdick," Brian muttered.  That's what he'd taken to calling the CEO.  But he also knew the man was right.  "Let's wrap this," Brian said to the photographer.  "I may need you again in a day or two.  Are you available?"

 

When everything was finished, they had another shoot booked for three days later.  The brunet was signed.  All Brian had to do was find the blond.  At that thought another blond popped into Brian's head.  Justin Taylor!

 

Brian headed back to his office.  When he arrived he asked Cynthia to find anything on Justin Taylor that she could come up with.  A few minutes later Cynthia deposited a file on Brian's desk.

 

"Justin Taylor," she said.

 

"Thanks."  
  
"Are you thinking of him for the hair care line?"

 

"Um…" Brian hesitated.  That hadn't really been what he was thinking of.  "What do you think of him for High Life?" he asked out of curiosity.

 

"I think he's got the look that Sharpe might go for."  
  
"You do?"  Brian frowned.

 

"He's pert and handsome, but also kind of boy next door with just a hint of sophistication."  
  
"Is that what you see?"  
  
"Yes," Cynthia laughed.  "What do you see?"  
  
"An over the hill Calvin Klein underwear model."

 

"Brian, that was really cruel.  It's a good thing you don't know the poor guy."

 

"Yeah, you're right."  Brian did feel strange about what he had said but he was paraphrasing Justin himself.

 

"Do you want me to get in touch with him?"   
  
"No, not yet.  Let's see what Mr. Sharpdick thinks of him and these other two I've come up with."

 

Brian held out two files to Cynthia.  She leafed through them.

 

"What do you think?" Brian asked curious as to what she would answer.

 

"Taylor has them both beat."  
  
Brian felt the smile that crept across his face.  He couldn't stop it.

 

"What?" Cynthia asked.

 

"Nothing," Brian smirked.

 

"What are you not telling me?" Cynthia asked staring at her boss.

 

"Don't you have some work to do?"

 

"Okay, okay, I get the point.  You don't want to discuss this.  I'm going."  Cynthia quietly walked out of the office, but she couldn't help but wonder what her boss was up to.

 

Brian smiled wider.  It was good working with Cynthia.  She knew him so well, knew when to back off.  But what the fuck was he going to do about Justin Taylor?  The smile left Brian's face as he pondered what might happen if Mr. Sharpdick actually liked the looks of Justin Taylor for his model.  That could prove very interesting or very … weird.

 

*****

 

The following morning Brian was up in the art department checking some artwork when Cynthia paged him.

 

"Mr. Sharpe is here.  I left him in your office."  
  
"Thanks, I'll be right down."  
  
When Brian walked into his office minutes later, Mr. Sharpdick was sitting in Brian's chair going through the files of the possible models.

 

"Excuse me," Brian said making his annoyance at Sharpe's audacity clear.

 

"I didn't think you'd mind if I got a head start.  I like all three, but this one seems to have something special," Sharpe said holding up Justin's picture.

 

Brian drew in a breath.  "I'm not sure we can get him."  
  
"Why the fuck not?!" Sharpe demanded, his anger at the statement clear.

 

"I don't think he's modeling anymore."

 

"Then get him out of retirement, unless he looks like a fucking zombie.  I think he could be the one."  
  
"He doesn't look … bad, but I don't think he'd be interested," Brian sighed.

 

"Then why was the fucking picture on your desk?" Sharpe demanded.

 

"It was something I was considering, but it won't work.  If you hadn't been going through the things on my desk, you never would have known about him," Brian said caustically.

 

Rather than take offence at Brian's tone, Sharpe smiled and said, "Well, I do know about him.  Make sure he's at the next photo shoot."  With that he stood and walked out of the office.

 

Brian walked around his desk and sank into the vacated chair.  It wasn't easy trying to work with a fucking prick like Sharpe.  He knew what he wanted and wouldn't let anything stand in his way, just like … Brian used to be.

 

"Fucking prick!" Brian stated as the door closed behind Mr. Sharpdick.

 

He picked up the photo of Justin and looked at the familiar face with the gentle smile.  Now he was going to have to call Justin, and then he somehow had to convince him to attend the photo session.

 

"Fuck!"

 

*****

 

Brian sat at Flanagan's nursing a beer.  As much as he would have liked to get drunk, he knew he better be sober.  He was waiting to see if Justin Taylor would show up for a drink.  He hadn't called the man.  He had tried to a couple of times, but each time he started to dial Justin's number, his heart started pounding and he put the phone back down.  He was hoping Justin would appear and take away the necessity of Brian calling him.

 

By eleven-thirty and three beers under his belt, Brian was sure Justin wasn't going to show up on his own.  Reluctantly he took out his cell phone and dialed.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Justin?"

 

"Is that you, Brian?"

 

"Yeah."  
  
"I never expected to hear from you again."  
  
Brian could hear the hurt in Justin's voice.  "I'm at Flanagan's.  Could … um … would you consider having a drink with me?"  
  
There was a long period of silence.  Brian wondered if Justin had hung up or had a coronary at the unexpected request.

 

"Are you still there, Justin?"  
  
"I'm here."

 

"So, will you join me?"

 

"I don't think so."  
  
Brian sighed.  He'd half expected that answer.  "I … I have a business proposition for you," Brian said as a last resort.

 

"A business proposition?  Is that what this call is about … business?"

 

"Well, yeah, kind of."  Brian could almost hear the steam escaping from Justin's ears.

 

"You fucking called me and asked me to join you … for business?"

 

"Um … well, yes."  
  
"Well, fuck you, Kinney!"

 

The line went dead and Brian let out an involuntary groan.  He stared at his cell phone for a couple of minutes before he finally closed it and slipped it into his pocket.  Not only had he just got shit from Justin, he was going to get crucified by Mr. Sharpdick in the morning.

 

Brian signaled to Casey to bring him a boilermaker.  He definitely needed something stronger than the beer he'd been drinking.  Maybe when he finished the boilermaker he should go outside and see if he could find a speeding bus to run him down.

 

"Fuck!"

 

*****

 

When he finished his drink, Brian decided that he would cruise on over to the address where he knew Justin's apartment was located.  It wasn't hard to find.  Pulling into a parking space near the front door, Brian stared up at the windows.  Many were dark but a few still revealed lights aglow.  He didn't know which apartment was Justin's, but he was about to find out.

 

He got out of his car, grabbed the folder that had been on the table at Flanagan's waiting for Justin to appear, and walked up to the door.  Taking a deep breath he pushed open the heavy outside door.  Inside the tiny area between that door and the locked one in front of him, Brian saw the list of tenants on a board beside a phone.  He noted the list of codes to punch in to connect to the desired person.  He hit the numbers for Justin Taylor.

 

"Yes?" the familiar voice asked.

 

"I need to talk to you," Brian said.

 

"I thought I told you to fuck off."

 

"You did."  
  
"Then what are you doing here?"

 

"Groveling."  
  
"Groveling?" 

 

Brian could hear the almost giggle as Justin said that.  "How am I doing so far?"

 

"I don't hear a whole lot of groveling, just you saying that's what you're doing."  
  
"Please, Justin, I ask you on bended knee to let me in, please, please, please," Brian cooed doing his best imitation of sincere and contrite.

 

The giggle came across the speaker before Justin could say, "That's more like it.  Come on up, you big dope.  Fourth floor."

 

The buzz of the door told Brian that the lock had been released.  He entered the elevator and made his way up to the fourth floor.  When he stepped off the elevator, he saw Justin standing in the open doorway of his apartment just a short distance from the elevator.  He quickly covered the distance to smile into the face he'd grown to like so much.

 

"Can I come in?" Brian asked.

 

"Well, since you're here."  Justin stepped aside so that Brian could enter.

 

"Not bad," Brian said looking around and taking in the quality of the furnishings.  They were modern, but also very homey.  He liked the place.  It said "Justin Taylor".

 

"I brought the furniture from my place in New York," Justin explained.  "I had to downsize some."  
  
"That's too bad.  But you've made the place your own."  
  
Justin smiled in spite of himself.  "You're quite a sweet talker when you want to be."  
  
"That's me, a silver tongued devil."  
  
"You got the devil part right anyway," Justin laughed.

 

Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek and stared at the man.  He hoped the false bravado hid his churning stomach.

 

"So," Justin said, "would you like a beer before you explain what the hell you're doing here?"


	9. Chapter 9

Brian sat on the couch in Justin's apartment and sipped at the beer he'd been handed.  He was trying to think of a clever way to explain what he wanted Justin to do, and why.  He wanted to accomplish that without having to explain why twice he had run out on the man.

 

"I'm waiting," Justin said rather harshly.  He was sitting in the chair across from Brian.  The rigidity of his back did not bode well for success with what Brian wanted.

 

"I've been waiting too," Brian retorted.  He didn't know why he said that, but sometimes things just came out.  He saw Justin flinch and knew he had made a mistake.

 

"You know, I don't need your shit.  If you came here to piss me off, mission accomplished.  You can go now."  
  
Justin started to stand and Brian knew it was now or never.  He would not get another chance either to stay Justin's friend or to get him to be part of the photo shoot.

 

"Justin, wait.  I'm an idiot," Brian said doing something he never did.  Apologize.

 

"That's a given," Justin snarked glaring at Brian.

 

"I do have a business proposition for you."  
  
"And what might this mysterious proposition be?"

 

Brian extended the folder that he had set beside him on the couch.  Justin took it and opened it.  He studied the picture which had been taken a couple of years before.

 

"What is this?" Justin frowned.  "Why are you showing me this picture?  Oh, wait a minute, I get it."  Justin sneezed.  "You want to make fun of how much older I look now than I did in that photo."  Another sneeze, followed by a third.

 

"Why would you think I would do that?" Brian asked incredulously.

 

"Because you can," Justin said as he broke into another round of sneezing.

 

"You look just the same as you did in that picture," Brian said softly.  "Maybe better."  
  
Justin managed to stop sneezing and he looked into Brian's eyes trying to gauge if the man was being sincere or sarcastic.

 

"I mean it," Brian said in an attempt to reassure Justin.

 

"Yeah, right," Justin said skeptically.  "I've seen the picture.  You can go now."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere until you look at what's under the picture."  
  
Justin picked up the photo, touching it warily like it might bite him or make him spontaneously combust.  Underneath was a photo of the two men already chosen for the High Life Hair Care ads.  It was a mock-up for a possible magazine ad, but without the third person.

 

"We think you might be the perfect person for the third man in these ads," Brian explained relaxing enough to take another sip of his beer.

 

"Why do you need a third?  They look good together."

 

"The head of High Life wants a red head, a brunet and a blond."  
  
"And what he wants, he gets."  
  
Brian nodded.  "I think he wants you."  
  
"Me?"

 

"He saw your photo on my desk and he really liked your look."  
  
"Why was my picture on your desk?" Justin asked cutting right to the chase.

 

"Uh, well, I was looking through folios of blond models and I saw yours and pulled it out."  
  
"Pulled it out?  Why?  Did you intend to rip it up?"

 

"Christ, Justin, you make it sound like I hate you."  
  
"Well, don't you?  You run away from me all the time.  Am I too old and ugly to be around you?"  That initiated another bout of sneezing.

 

"You're not old at all.  You're … perfect," Brian said hesitantly.  "It's me who's not perfect."  
  
"Would you care to explain that statement?  You look pretty perfect to me."

 

"I do?" Brian smiled.  He liked hearing that.  But then he remembered that it was all a façade.

 

"Brian, what the fuck is going on?  I'm not interested in this ad campaign, but I am interested in why you came here tonight."

 

"I really need you for this campaign.  The CEO told me to get you out of retirement."  
  
"Fuck!"

 

"It would be really … nice if you would take part in a photo shoot with the two guys in that picture."  
  
"I don't model anymore.  I'm a full time student."

 

"But we could work around that," Brian said hopefully.  "It could be written right in the contract that your schooling comes first and if you have to take time for your studies, then you can."  
  
"You sound like I already have the job."  
  
"If you look good at the shoot, then you do," Brian affirmed.

 

"Fuck!  What if I look too old and they turn me down?  I thought I had put all that shit behind me."  
  
"It's great money and I know some part of you must miss the limelight," Brian said with a slight smile of encouragement.

 

"I … I don't know.  I'm not sure I can handle another rejection."  
  
"Nobody's going to reject you.  Trust me."    
  
"I wish I could."  Justin shook his head.  "When are you going to explain about running out on me?" Justin asked, his face so open and sweet that Brian felt his heart melt.

 

"I'm not sure I can."

 

"So we're right back where we started from," Justin sighed.

 

"It … it's really complicated."  
  
"Tell me … please.  I'm smart, but I can't figure out what's going on if you don't even give me a clue."  
  
"Maybe I don't want you to know," Brian admitted.

 

Justin frowned.  "Brian, what is it?  You can tell me, really you can."  
  
"I know I can tell you, but I can't make myself say the words."  Brian ran his fingers over his eyes and tried to breathe.  Even that was more than he wanted to admit.

 

"Then let me guess," Justin said.  "All you have to do is nod your head."  After a minute or so Brian nodded.  "Good.  Um, let's see.  Does it have something to do with that jerk of a guy at Babylon?"  Brian's head shot up and Justin knew he had hit the mark.

 

"How the fuck did you come to that conclusion?" Brian asked.

 

"He upset you.  I could see that.  Was he the guy you had the relationship with?"

 

Brian nodded.  "The very same."  
  
"I thought you called him Garnet.  Why were you so upset to see him?"  Brian merely raised an eyebrow.  "Oh, right, I forgot.  I have to ask questions that only require a yes or no answer.  So, let's see.  Did he hurt you?"  Justin watched Brian clench his eyes like he was blotting out something terrible.  Gradually Brian nodded his head fighting back tears.  "Did he dump you?" Justin asked.  Brian nodded, finding that question somehow easier to answer than the previous one.  "But what the fuck is the matter with the guy?  Why would he dump you?"

 

Brian's eyes opened and he looked at Justin.  He could see that the man meant what he said.  He couldn't believe that in Justin Taylor's eyes he looked desirable, normal, unblemished.  "You must have heard him say that I'm far from perfect.  Well, I am."  
  
"I don't see it," Justin replied studying Brian.

 

"Not all imperfections are on the surface.  Some are hidden away like the flaw that diminishes the value of a large diamond."

 

"How philosophical!  Is that what you think?  You have a flaw that diminishes your worth?"  Justin felt like they were on the verge of something really important between them if he could only keep this going long enough to get the truth out of Brian.

 

Brian nodded.  Justin was so close to finding out his secret, but he doubted that even Justin Taylor, his newfound friend and confidant, would be able to figure out the real problem.  And that was just as well.

 

Justin had been watching the emotions flicker across Brian's face.  Something just wasn't right.  What could be so imperfect about Brian Kinney?  He had a reputation as a sex god.  How could that be a bad thing?  He was known to be rather ruthless in his business dealings, but this was a domestic issue, although one never really knew what went on with couples, except the couples themselves.

 

"Do you snore?" Justin asked with a straight face.

 

"What?" Brian responded, a look of disbelief on his beautiful face.

 

"Snoring, you know, when you sleep."

 

"Not that anybody's told me."  
  
"What about ice cold feet that immediately freeze the section of the body to which they are applied?"

 

"Fuck no!" Brian laughed.  Trust Justin Taylor to turn this inquisition into something entertaining.

 

"What about farts?"

 

"Jesus Christ!" Brian laughed.  "Are you going to go through all the bodily functions and fluids?"

 

"I was planning to.  Let's see there's belching and too much perspiring and bad breath and shit that smells really, really bad."

 

"Stop, please," Brian begged holding his side as he continued to laugh at the absurdity of it.  "You're giving me a stitch."  
  
"It's the least I could do for you," Justin said with a serene smile.  He was enjoying Brian's discomfort.  He was also glad that he had been able to cheer Brian up a little.

 

"It's more than enough, believe me," Brian gasped trying to take a deep breath.

 

"Maybe you could just tell me what the problem was with Garnet and then I wouldn't have to torture you," Justin suggested.

 

"I'd rather not," Brian said sobering up quickly.

 

"But, really Brian, I'm sure whatever happened isn't nearly as bad as you think it is."  
  
"You don't know the half of it."  
  
"Maybe I should contact Garnet so I can find out the truth," Justin mused waiting to see Brian's reaction.

 

"Don't … please," was all that Brian said.  His face registered emotions that Justin couldn't describe.  He thought he might do well to leave that alone.

 

"Okay, I won't, but I want something in return."  
  
"You do?" Brian asked.

 

"I want us to go out on some dates.  Maybe you'll decide to tell me what happened between you and Garnet, or maybe I can convince you that whatever it was isn't nearly as important as you think it is."

 

"You want to go on a date with me?" Brian asked.  This Justin Taylor was really something.

 

"I believe I said dates."  
  
"As in how many?"

 

"Let's play it by ear."  
  
"If I agree to that, will you come to the photo shoot next Monday afternoon?"

 

"Hm, it just so happens that I don't have classes on Monday afternoons, so … yes."  
  
"That's good.  I better go," Brian said standing up.

 

"Not so fast, bucko."  
  
"Bucko?" Brian laughed.  "Bucko?"

 

"I want one date this weekend or it's no deal."  
  
Brian thought about it for a moment.  If the date turned out to be horrible, which it probably would, then Justin would have to keep his part of the bargain, and they wouldn't have to do anymore dates.  "Deal," Brian said extending his hand.

 

Justin took the proffered hand.  He felt an immediate zing as their hands came together.  That was such a small area to touch.  What would it be like when their bodies were spread out on top of each other and they were kissing and their cocks…

 

"May I have my hand back, please," Brian was asking.

 

"Um, sorry.  I was thinking."

 

Brian gave him a quizzical look.  "Here's the address for the shoot.  2 p.m."

 

"You could have told me that on our date," Justin grinned.

 

"Riiiight, Saturday night?"

 

"Sounds good.  Where are you going to take me?"

 

"It'll be a surprise."  
  
"It better be a good surprise," Justin warned.

 

"Trust me."  
  
"You keep saying that."

 

"That's because you can trust me."  
  
"We'll see, but as a token of good faith, here!"  Justin reached up and pulled Brian into what was meant to be a sweet little kiss.

 

Brian arched back slightly, taken by surprise, but Justin merely took that as a challenge.  He deepened the kiss and felt Brian respond.  Tongues met with unexpected pleasure.  Justin felt Brian's hand cup the back of his head increasing the pressure of the kiss.  If he could have, he would have smiled, but his lips were too busy doing other things.  His arms wrapped around Brian's neck.

 

Neither knew how much time had passed before they pulled back.  Brian stared into Justin's eyes and then turned abruptly to leave.

 

"Saturday," he said as he closed the apartment door behind him.

 

"Saturday," Justin grinned as he watched Brian depart.  He definitely needed to find out more about this man that he wanted so much.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Brian Kinney walked into Babylon.  He was alone, but he knew heads were turning as he made his way to the bar.  Even at thirty-five he could still command attention.  He hadn't been at his favorite club for months.  He and Garnet had kind of got out of the habit of clubbing.  There was more time for fucking if they skipped the club.  And then there had been…  Brian let that thought die before it fully formed.  He refused to think about it.

 

But now, that didn't matter.  He ordered a double scotch and threw it back.  The amber liquid burned pleasantly all the way down.  Brian had felt like crap for so long now that it was nice to feel something, even the burn of liquor.  Ordering another, Brian turned and leaned back against the edge of the bar.  He surveyed his domain, or what used to be his domain when he was the stud of Liberty Avenue.  Maybe he could regain that title once again.

 

Gazing out over the floor of Babylon, Brian saw the same old tricks.  He'd had most of them before, and he didn't do repeats.  A dirty blond was staring at him, even while the guy was dancing with someone else.  Brian smirked at the look.  He knew it well.  The guy would do, if he didn't spot anything better.

 

Brian made his way up onto the catwalk carrying another scotch with him.  He looked down at the dance floor.  The bodies writhed and collided and shimmied beneath him.  He spotted a dark haired young man that he had never seen before.  His eyes bored into the man's skull, and suddenly the hottie turned and looked up.  His eyes met Brian's and a smile creased his face.  Brian nodded and made his way down the stairs.  He finished his drink on the way down.  By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, the dark haired young man was waiting for him.  

 

"Wanna dance?" Brian asked.

 

"I wanna fuck," the man replied.

 

"Back room."

 

Quickly they made their way to the backroom and found a spare piece of wall.  Brian pushed his trick back against it and started to plunder the willing mouth.  As the intensity of the kiss escalated, Brian felt the man's hand reach down and squeeze his dick through the worn denim of his jeans.  He gave a little gasp as he felt himself grow hard.  This was going to be good.

 

He continued kissing the man, feeling the buttons pop on his jeans as the trick slid his hand inside.  Brian stuck his tongue halfway down the guy's throat.  The trick slid down and knelt in front of Brian.  He pulled Brian's semi-hard dick from his jeans and placed his mouth around the head.  Brian leaned against the wall as he let the old familiar feelings course through him.  This was what he had needed.

 

And then it happened.  The trick fondled Brian's balls with one hand and Brian winced.  The guy was going to know.  He would find out and he would laugh.  Then everyone in the back room, in all of Liberty Avenue would be laughing at him.  A tiny whimper escaped Brian's throat and he felt his dick go soft.  

 

"Hey man, what happened?" the trick asked looking up at Brian.  His hand massaged Brian's cock trying to stimulate him.  

 

Brian drew back, his limp cock falling out of the trick's hand.  He quickly stuffed it back in his jeans and walked as fast as he could, without running, out of the back room.  He kept going to the main door of Babylon and then out into the cold night air.  He ran down the steps and hurried along the street to where he had left his car.

 

He leaned against the side of the Corvette trying to get his breath.  He thought he was going to be sick and doubled over as the first round of retching began.  He puked up whatever meager food he had and all of the liquor he had downed since he arrived at Babylon.  He spit several times trying to get the awful taste out of his mouth.  When he was sure nothing else was going to come up he climbed into the Corvette wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest.  He should never have gone there.  He had known it was a gamble, but he thought he could pull it off.  How stupid was that?  Now he knew for sure.  He could never go into the backroom at Babylon again.

 

Brian awoke with a start, cold sweat beading his body.  That fucking dream again!  He glanced at the clock.  It was almost six a.m.  That meant it was Saturday morning and he had a date with Justin Taylor.  Technically he had already had a sort of date with Justin before, but this one would be different.  And he wouldn't be taking Justin to Babylon, that was for fucking sure.

 

Brian shoved himself up off the bed.  He decided he would have a shower and head for the gym for an hour or two.

 

In the shower his mind kept wandering to that kiss he and Justin had shared.  Justin was one hot and desirable little bundle.  But you can't have him, Kinney, he kept reminding himself.  Justin was bound to be just as turned off as Garnet had been once he learned the truth.  Even if Justin wouldn't be cruel like Garnet, he wouldn't want Brian once he found out.  And if he didn't run immediately, the last thing Brian wanted was a pity fuck.

 

"Shit!" he mumbled to himself as he turned off the water and stepped out.  He toweled off quickly before his mind could go to those places that only caused pain.  He hurried out to go to the gym, stopping for a latte on the way.

 

"Hi, hi, hi," Emmett greeted him.  "Haven't seen much of you lately."

 

"I've been busy."  
  
"With that tasty little morsel that you had at Babylon?"

 

Brian glared at him as he started the Stairmaster.  "Work," he said pointedly.

 

"All work and no play makes Brian a grumpy, old fag."  
  
"Honeycutt, watch the old shit!" Brian said ominously.

 

"Okay, okay, and don't call me Honeycutt.  So what are you doing tonight?" Emmett asked thinking that he was changing the topic.

 

"None of your fucking business!"

 

"Sheesh, I was just making conversation."  
  
"Just making conversation," Brian began, as a thought occurred to him. "Tell me, where would you like to go on a date?"

 

"Why, are you asking me out, Mr. Kinney sir?" Emmett said in his best southern belle voice.

 

"In your dreams, Honeycutt."

 

"Don't call me Honeycutt," Emmett repeated.

 

"Then answer the fucking question," Brian retorted as he started to really feel the workout from the Stairmaster.

 

"Dinner at a nice restaurant with candles and wine, a stroll along the dimly lit street and a major fuckfest when we got back to my place," Emmett blurted out.

 

"TMI, Honeycutt, TMI," Brian said shaking his head.

 

"Well, you asked, and don't call…"

 

"I know.  Thanks for the 411."  Brian stepped off the machine and wiped his brow.  He started to walk towards the change rooms.

 

"Hey, where are you going?  Ted and Michael should be here any minute."  
  
"I'll see them another time.  I have things to do."  
  
*****

 

Brian pushed the buzzer at Justin's apartment.  

 

"I'll be right down," the familiar voice said.

 

Brian stepped outside and quickly lit a cigarette.  He hated this whole dating thing.  It was always so tense and phony.  That had been one of the reasons he had allowed himself to take part in that fucking relationship with Garnet.  Being a couple avoided the whole dating thing.  Couples could fuck and go out and nobody thought anything of it.  Nobody made annoying comments.  It had worked for a while until…

 

"Hey," Justin's voice said from behind him.

 

Brian turned from where he was leaning on the car.  "Hey, yourself."  He felt his cock swell at the sight of the young man.  He looked like a million dollars in a rust colored sweater and camel slacks.  "You should wear that for the photo shoot."  He watched Justin's face fall.

 

"I wore it for you," Justin said softly.

 

"It … you look great."

 

That beautiful smile returned as Brian indicated the door of the Corvette and Justin climbed in.

 

"Where are we going?"

 

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," Brian smirked as he pulled out of the apartment driveway.

 

Justin smiled and leaned back ready to accept whatever Brian had planned for him.  Before long they pulled into a parking lot.

 

Brian got out and hurried around the car to open the door for Justin.  Justin beamed at him as he got out.  Brian felt his heart skip a beat.  He knew what had made Justin such a great model.  That body, that face, that smile, and tonight it was all for him.

 

They walked into the dimly lit restaurant.  Justin looked around taking in the candlelight at each table and the couples sipping glasses of wine or eating their dinners.  

 

"Very nice, Kinney," Justin said with a happy smile.

 

"Ah, Mr. Kinney, your table is ready," said the maitre d' and he escorted them to their table.  

 

Brian ordered a bottle of wine and they sipped their drinks as they looked over the menus.  

 

"What do you recommend?" Justin asked.

 

"The steaks are great and the penne a la vodka is excellent."

 

"Thanks," Justin replied.  He liked doing this with Brian.  He wouldn't have guessed that Brian was so suave and easy going from his previous encounters with the man.

 

They placed their orders and sat back to sip their wine.  "I hope this place is all right," Brian said.

 

"So far it's great, but the final verdict will be in the food."  
  
"Aah."  
  
They spent a very pleasant evening, enjoyed the food and even the small talk.  When they finished dinner, they walked out to the parking lot.  

 

"That was great, Brian.  I enjoyed myself."

 

"I … I did too," Brian replied realizing that he had had a very nice meal with Justin.  And it hadn't been an effort at all.

 

"What are we going to do now?"

 

"Climb in and you'll see," Brian said opening the door of the Corvette for Justin.

 

Brian didn't have far to drive before pulling into the parking lot that abutted the walkway along the waterfront by the river.  

 

"I thought we could take a little stroll," Brian said as they got out of the car.

 

"You're just full of good ideas tonight," Justin beamed.

 

"Glad you think so."  And he really was.  

 

They walked along the water looking at the lights reflected below them.  The evening was cool, but not too cool.  When they came to a dark area between the lights and nobody seemed to be around, Justin initiated another kiss.  This came more easily than the one the other night, but no less passionately.  Justin could feel Brian's heat and hardness as the kiss continued.

 

"I think it's time to go home," Justin whispered as he broke the kiss.

 

"Yeah," Brian agreed.

 

They walked back to the car and got in.  It didn't take Brian long to drive to Justin's apartment.  Justin had a happy little smile on his face all the way there.  Brian pulled up in front of the door to the building.  Justin got out expecting Brian to park the car and follow him in.

 

"Justin," Brian said from the driver's seat.

 

Justin bent over and looked back in the open window on his side of the car.  "The visitor's parking is over there," Justin pointed.

 

"I … I'm not coming up."  He witnessed the anger engulf Justin's usually kind and beautiful face.

 

"Why the fuck not?"

 

"I … I can't."  
  
"You mean you don't want to.  Am I too fucking old for you?" Justin demanded before a bout of sneezing took him.

 

"You're not too old.  You're just right.  You're perfect, but I'm not."  
  
"What the fuck is this all about?  Tell me what's going on."

 

"Cancer … testicular cancer."  
  
Brian gunned the car out of the apartment driveway leaving Justin to stare after him in stunned shock.

    


	11. Chapter 11

Justin stood in the driveway, his mind reeling at Brian's words. 

 

"Cancer, testicular cancer."  
  
That was why Brian was so reluctant, hell so fucking scared, to get close to him.  He had been a flaming idiot thinking that Brian wasn't interested.  It was much more than that.  He quickly made his way up to his apartment and switched on his computer.  It took him several hours to read through some of the information about testicular cancer, its treatment and the side effects that resulted.

 

Finally Justin rubbed his eyes.  He had been staring at the computer screen far too long.  He got up and went to the fridge to get a beer.  He carried it to the couch and sat down.

 

Brian Kinney had or had had testicular cancer, if Brian's words meant anything.  But when?  How long ago had this been?  Was he in remission?  Had he had radiation or chemotherapy?  There were so many questions and Justin didn't know how to get the answers.  Unless he asked Brian, but Brian seemed to hate even mentioning it.  It was very unlikely that they could actually discuss the cancer.

 

Justin leaned his head back on the couch.  His mind was racing with possible scenarios and horrible possibilities.  He knew he cared about Brian Kinney, cared a lot.  But what was he going to do now?  Maybe he should just walk away and let Brian heal himself.  Brian Kinney was a strong man, but … also a damaged man, if what Justin had witnessed meant what he thought it did.  The cancer had done more than eat away at Brian's body; it had eaten away at his psyche too.

 

As far as walking away from Brian was concerned, he knew he didn't want to do that.  Brian had become too important to him.  He enjoyed being with the man, even with all his foibles and problems.  Brian was worth whatever it would take to get to know him.

 

And that was when Justin decided that he would do the photo shoot to the best of his ability.  He would do it for Brian.  He wanted them all to see that he still had some of his old charisma, and he wanted Brian to know that he could have all of Justin Taylor if he merely asked for it.  And he hoped that Brian would think he was worth asking for.

 

*****

 

Brian paced back and forth at the photographer's studio.  The two blonds that he and Sharpdick had selected were already there and getting their hair and makeup looked after.  They were waiting for Justin Taylor.  He wasn't exactly late … yet, but it was getting close.

 

Rubbing his fingers on his temples, Brian realized that Justin might decide not to come.  That made his impending headache loom even larger.  How many times had Brian run out on Justin?  His not showing up today would be perfect payback.  Brian groaned involuntarily.

 

"Brian?"

 

"Yeah, Schmidt, what is it?"

 

"I brought the contract.  Where's Justin?" Ted asked looking around.

 

"He isn't here yet."  
  
"That's cutting it kind of fine, isn't it?"  
  
"Very fine," Brian replied feeling his anger grow.  He hated to be made to look like a fool.  And if Justin Taylor didn't show, that's exactly what he would look like.

 

"Hey," Justin's sweet voice said from behind them.  "Sorry I'm a little late.  I had a really bad headache when I woke up this morning.  I kept hoping it would go away, but I finally had to take some medication.  I may not be at my best."  
  
"That's too bad, Justin," Ted said.

 

"How is it now?" Brian asked looking at Justin closely.  The blond looked a little drawn and tense.

 

"Better, but it's still there."  
  
"Do you think it's related to the shoot?" Brian asked.  Justin nodded.  "Ted, go tell them all that Justin's here and he'll be in the makeup room in a few minutes."

 

"Sure, Boss," Ted said hustling away.

 

"Come over here," Brian said.  Justin followed him over to a nearby chair.  "Sit down."  
  
"But I need to get ready," Justin protested.

 

"Sit."  
  
"Yes, master," Justin replied trying to make a joke.  He planted his butt in the chair.

 

Brian placed his fingers on Justin's temples and started rubbing slow circles over the sensitive area.  After a minute or so he heard Justin sigh.

 

"Does that feel good?"

 

"Heaven."  Brian laughed.  "Where did you learn to do that?" Justin asked.

 

"It's one of the few useful things that came out of my relationship with the guy you met at Babylon."

 

"The one you wouldn't introduce me too?"

 

"Yeah," Brian replied making a face that he knew Justin couldn't see, since he was standing behind the chair.  "Garnet used to get bad tension headaches.  This helped."  
  
"I can see why," Justin whispered feeling all the tension leave his body.  "What happened with that guy?"

 

"I … it's not something we can talk about here," Brian said hesitantly.

 

"Later?"

 

"Maybe … later."  
  
"Good.  I feel better.  I should get to makeup."  
  
"Go ahead," Brian said removing his fingers from Justin's temples.  "You look better."

 

"As opposed to old," Justin tried to laugh, but three sneezes caught him first.

 

"Gesundheit," Brian chuckled when Justin stopped sneezing.  "Get going."  
  
"Thanks, Brian.  That massage helped a lot."  
  
Brian shrugged thinking that he would like to massage some other parts of Justin Taylor's body.  Justin walked away to get fixed up for the shoot.  Brian headed over to the photographer.

 

"Isn't that Justin Taylor, the Calvin Klein model?" Angelo, the photographer, asked.

 

"One and the same."  
  
"I thought he was retired."  
  
"He was.  But he's agreed to this shoot."  
  
"I can't believe the Calvin Klein people thought he was too old.  He looks great."  
  
"Be sure to tell him that," Brian said with a tiny smile.

 

"I will."

 

*****

 

The shoot went very well.  Justin took to the other two models who had already been hired, and they were very solicitous knowing that Justin had already hit the big time, which is where they hoped this gig was going to take them.  By the time the shoot was over, there was no doubt that Justin was the best blond for the job.

 

Mr. Sharpe walked over to Justin.  "I'm prepared to offer you a contract right now, Mr. Taylor.  I want you as one of the High Life models."  
  
Justin smiled that radiant smile.  "You don't think I'm too old?" he had to ask.  That initiated a set of three sneezes.

 

"I hope you're not coming down with something," Mr. Sharpe said as Justin recovered.  "You have just the right look for what we want.  Perfect, in fact."

 

"Thank you for saying so."  
  
"Would you be willing to sign a contract today?"

 

"Um … there are some stipulations."  
  
"I know.  I believe Mr. Kinney already had those written into the contract."  
  
"He did?"  Mr. Sharpe nodded.  "But why?  You couldn't have known that you would pick me."  
  
"I wanted you for High Life the minute I saw your photo.  We just needed to see how your chemistry was with the other two models."

 

"And how was it?"

 

"Perfect!  You're the one we want."  
  
Justin's smile out-blazed the photographer's lights.  "If you're sure.  I guess I could sign today."  
  
"I'll send Mr. Schmidt over with the contract," Dick said as he shook Justin's hand.  He walked over to Brian with a satisfied look on his face.

 

"Hey," Ted said as he approached Justin.  "Brian wanted me to go over the special stipulations with you.  He wants to make sure they suit you before you sign."  
  
"That's very nice of him," Justin replied.

 

"Brian's … okay."

 

Ted walked them over to the photographer's desk where they could sit down and go over the contract.

 

"Ted, could I ask you something?"

 

"Sure."  
  
"Brian, he's … um … he's had cancer, hasn't he?"

 

"How … how did you know that?"

 

"He kind of told me."  
  
"He never discusses that with anyone."  
  
"He doesn't?"  Ted shook his head.  "Is he okay?  Did they get it all?"  
  
"Yeah, as far as I know.  But the cancer and the radiation took its toll.  He was pretty sick for a while."  
  
"How long ago was that?"  
  
"Just a few months."  
  
"Is that why…?  Um, do you know if…?  Um… shit, I don't know how to say this."  
  
"I think he's fine, healthwise," Ted said.  "It's something else that is troubling him."  
  
"What?"

 

"I don't think I can talk to you about this."  
  
"But…"

 

"Justin, he's my boss, and also my friend, but there are limits.  He's a very private person.  He'd kill me if he knew I'd discussed even this much with you."

 

"I like him a lot, Ted.  But he won't tell me anything."  
  
"He was hurt."

 

"I figured that much."  
  
"Keep working on him if you think he's worth it."

 

"I'll try," Justin sighed.  It sounded like a daunting task.

 

"Then let's go over this contract and get you all taken care of."

 

Brian watched Justin and Ted huddled over the contract.  Dick Sharpe had just left, more than happy with the outcome of the photo shoot.  At least that was one good thing that had come out of today's meeting.

 

"He looked great," Angelo said to Brian.

 

"Yeah, Mr. Sharpe thought so too.  We're signing him right now."  
  
"Good move."  
  
Brian smiled.  Maybe he'd ask Justin out to dinner to celebrate their mutually beneficial collaboration.  He walked over to Ted and Justin.

 

"How's it goin'?" he asked with a smirk that only Ted understood.

 

"Signed, sealed and delivered," Ted said with a smile.

 

"I hope I covered everything that you wanted me to include in your contract," Brian said to Justin.

 

"More than everything.  I couldn't ask for more," Justin smiled.

 

"Well, I'll take this back to the office," Ted said watching the eye exchange between the two men.  "I'll see you tomorrow, Boss.  Justin."  Ted walked away.  Neither man paid any attention to Ted as he left.

 

"How about an early dinner?" Brian asked.

 

"I have to get this makeup off my face."  
  
"I don't see why you needed it in the first place," Brian said with a grin.

 "Thanks, but let me get cleaned up and I'd love something to eat."

Brian watched Justin walk over to the makeup area.  He didn't know what had possessed him to ask Justin out for dinner.  He just felt like it.  And he still owed the man some unspecified number of dates to make up for him coming to the photo shoot.  Besides, he just plain liked being with Justin Taylor.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Brian pulled the Corvette into the parking lot at Esperanza.  That meant hope he realized, and he wondered why he had chosen that particular restaurant.  What was it that he was hoping for?

 

"Brian, does this place have takeout?"

 

"I think so, why?"

 

"Could we get takeout?  I'm beat."

 

"I should have realized.  Do you want me to take you home?"

 

"I'm really hungry.  If we got takeout, we could go back to my place and relax, or you could show me where you live.  I've never seen it."  
  
"Um … okay.  I guess we could do that.  Stay put and I'll go get us some food."

 

Brian got out of the car and walked to the front door of the restaurant.  He looked back to see Justin lean his head back against the headrest.  He knew modeling wasn't nearly as easy as most people thought it was, and Justin was also a fulltime student.  That was a lot to deal with.  No wonder the poor guy was tired.

 

When Brian returned with the food some time later, Justin was dozing until he heard the car door open.

 

"Can you hold this?" Brian asked.

 

"Sure, I didn't realize I had dozed off."  
  
"You need some food," Brian said.

 

"That would be good."

 

"My place is close.  Is that all right?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
They drove to Brian's and rode up in the elevator.  Justin held the bag of food as Brian unlocked the loft door.  He took the bag from Justin and placed it on the counter.

 

"Want a beer … or something stronger?" Brian asked.

 

"Got any wine."  
  
"There's some red in there," Brian said pointing to a cupboard.

 

Justin pulled out a bottle of merlot as Brian unpacked the bag of food.

 

"Ready to eat?" Brian asked.

 

"Starved."

 

They dished up food and Brian got out some cutlery.  They decided to sit on the sofa and relax with their salad and lasagna.

 

"This is delicious," Justin said with his mouth full.

 

"Esperanza makes the best lasagna in the city," Brian stated knowingly.

 

"You don't strike me as a lasagna man," Justin observed.

 

"I'm not really.  I like a good rare steak, but sometimes I enjoy pasta.  As long as it's before seven."

 

"Before seven?" Justin asked with a frown.

"No carbs after seven."  
  
Justin giggled.  "Is that a rule?"

"My rule."  
  
"I see.  Why is that your rule?"

"Have to keep my girlish figure," Brian snarked.  "Although I'm not sure what I'm keeping it for anymore," he mumbled.

Justin looked over at Brian.  He decided he had to know.  "What did Garnet do to you, Brian?"

 

"Huh?" Brian asked shocked at the bluntness of Justin's question.

 

"I asked what he did to you.  Did he leave you when they found the cancer?"

 

Brian felt his eyes fill up with all the tears he had wanted to shed since the cancer was diagnosed.  "Justin, I…"

 

"I need to know, Brian, and I think you need to talk about it."  
  
"I've avoided talking about it for months," Brian said rather truculently.

 

"All the more reason to let it out now."  
  
Brian dropped his fork on his plate.  He stared out the windows of the loft wondering if he could verbalize what had happened.  It was still so raw.  Maybe it was time to let it all go … but the scar would still be there no matter what."

 

"Please, Brian, I'm a good listener."

 

"I know you are, but I'm not a good talker."  
  
"Just do your best."  
  
Brian sucked in a deep breath.  "I told you a bit about Garnet, about how we were the perfect couple."  Brian hesitated.

 

"Nobody's perfect," Justin said softly.

 

"But it's nice to think you are."

 

"I suppose, but I would have settled for young," Justin said chuckling.  That resulted in three sneezes."

 

"Gesundheit.  I thought you only sneezed when the word old was used."  
  
"Or the implication of the opposite of young.  Sorry."  More sneezes.  
  
"Don't be sorry."  
  
"At least I can laugh about it now."

 

"Yes, you can.  Maybe you should think of it as moving on to a new phase of your life rather than getting old."  Three more sneezes ensued.  "That word again," Brian said shaking his head.  "Gesundheit."

 

"Thanks.  But tell me more about what happened with you and Garnet."

 

Brian sighed.  "You don't give up, do you?"

 

"Nope," Justin grinned.

 

"Okay, so I got cancer," Brian said barely above a whisper.

 

"How did you find it?"

 

"Interesting that you should ask.  Garnet found it.  He loved playing with my balls when we were fucking.  He found the lump and told me to go get it checked out.  I should have realized that that was the beginning of the end."  
  
"How so?" Justin asked as he polished off his plate of lasagna and poured them each some more wine.

 

"Garnet knows he's perfect, at least in his own mind," Brian chuckled ruefully.  "And he is rather 'devastatingly handsome' to quote himself."  
  
"He didn't say that?" Justin chuckled.

 

"Oh yes he did!"

 

"But you're just as good looking as he is; better as far as I'm concerned."  
  
Brian raised an eyebrow and looked at Justin.  "Is that really what you think?"

 

"Yep."  
  
"You don't hold anything back, do you?"

 

"No, unlike someone I know," Justin grinned.

 

Brian grimaced and knew he better continue his story.  "So they found the cancer and laid out the options.  I … I didn't want to do anything.  I always figured I'd live fast and die young."

 

"Brian?" Justin reacted, concern evident in his eyes.

 

"I got talked into treatment by my friends and even by Garnet."

 

"That's good."  
  
"Is it?"  Brian grimaced.  "Anyway they took my ball and then they fried that whole area.  I was fucking impotent … literally, for several weeks.  Garnet stuck by me … sort of."  
  
"Um, what do you mean … sort of?"  
  
"He stayed with me during recovery, but when it became evident that I couldn't get it up, he found other places to meet his needs."

 

"Like Babylon?"

 

"I never asked, but he doesn't much like clubs.  I think he would pick up someone at work or in a bar or anywhere.  He's hard to resist."  
  
"I didn't notice that," Justin said hating Garnet even more.

 

Brian smiled a bit at that statement.  It was nice to have someone around that thought he was worthwhile if not perfect.  "Anyway, one night Garnet came home and we were kissing.  I felt myself grow hard and we headed for the bed.  He … he started playing with my balls, rolling them around and then suddenly he stopped.  I asked him what was wrong, and he said he could feel the scar."

 

"So what?"

 

"So, it turned him off, reminded him that I had a fake ball, reminded him that I was no longer perfect.  We gave up trying to fuck.  His reaction made my dick soft, and the scar made him see all my imperfections."

 

"Fucking asshole."  
  
"He can't help what he feels."  
  
"I just don't know why he would feel like that."  
  
"You haven't heard the worst.  A couple of nights later, Garnet got drunk and tried to fuck me.  He reached for my balls again, and then suddenly he made a face and turned away.  He told me I was disgusting, carved up like some poisoned piece of crap."

 

"He said that?"  Justin's eyes were wide with disbelief.

 

Brian nodded.  "Words to that effect.  In vino veritas, you know.  I moved out the next day.  He couldn't be with someone who wasn't perfect."  
  
"Garnet, whatever the fuck his name is, is an idiot!  I think you're great just the way you are."

 

"You haven't been to bed with me yet," Brian said shaking his head ruefully.

 

"Why don't we rectify that?"  
  
Brian's head snapped up.  "What did you say?"

 

"You heard me."

 

Justin stood up and moved over beside Brian on the sofa.  He slid close to the man putting his arm around Brian's neck and his face temptingly close to Brian's.

 

"I don't think this is a very good idea," Brian said pulling back.

 

Justin refused to release him.  "I think it's a great idea.  Kiss me."  
  
Brian stared into the open and honest blue eyes.  As he studied them, he felt Justin curl around him and the next thing he knew their lips were welded together.  He felt himself grow hard as the kiss continued.  Justin's hand grabbed his cock through his pants and squeezed.  "I knew you wanted me," Justin whispered, his hot breath sending more jolts to Brian's dick.  "Let's get rid of these clothes."  
  
Justin pulled Brian up with him and they began divesting each other of their clothes.  When they were down to their underwear, Justin took Brian's hand and led him up to the bedroom.  A gentle tug and they tumbled together onto the bed.  Before Brian could react Justin was on top of him with kisses that took both their breaths away.  
  
"I want you, Brian.  Want you inside me."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Very."  
  
Justin grasped the top of Brian's underwear and pulled it down.  He felt Brian doing the same with his.  Justin's fingers trembled as he completed the task.  They were both naked.  He could feel Brian shiver beneath him.

Brian had never been this nervous in his whole life. In fact both men were nervous. The time that they spent in each other's company, having dates, going to dinner, learning about each other, still hadn't completely prepared them for this night.  Their insecurities coursed through them.  

The only light in the bedroom was the blue neon shining on the wall over the bed.  It bathed the two of them in a surreal light.

 

Justin gazed into Brian's eyes.  "This is what I want.  Don't you want it too?"

 

"I … oh God, yes!"

 

Brian relished the taste of Justin mixed with wine as they kissed again.  His cock grew harder. 

 

Brian broke the kiss and ran his hands along Justin's slender side.  He caressed the full globes of the bountiful ass.  Justin's gasp told him that the blond was ready for him.

How could anyone think that this beautiful man could be anything but perfect, Brian wondered. Creamy alabaster skin, liquid blue eyes and a dazzling smile that blinded. Fucking idiots, all of those who thought he was too old. And moreover he was sincere, hard working, plunging head first into his new career. He accepted criticism, and worked to perfect his craft. Who cared if he sneezed now and then? Besides, they were cute sneezes. He'd probably smack Brian upside the head if he said that out loud. And, holy shit, that fucking perfect ass! 

Justin was thinking how long and lean and beautiful Brian's body was.  How could Garnet have been so stupid to walk away from that? God, how could anyone think that Brian was not walking perfection? And those eyes that could see into the soul. Brian had been supportive and caring. Yeah, people said crap about how cold he was, but they didn't have a fucking clue. He was the most sensitive man. Why would anyone think that a scar could make any difference? And could he kiss! Justin knew he could come, just from kissing Brian. God, Brian must have the most perfect cock in the whole wide world. 

Clothing gone, the boys gently rolled around on the bed, teasing each other with kisses and nips. Justin aligned himself on top of Brian, rubbing and bucking their hard cocks together. Satin covered steel was all Justin could think about as he ground himself into Brian. Brian kneaded the full white globes of Justin's ass. Satin covered steel.  

Justin began to kiss a path down Brian's stomach. He glanced upwards to see Brian's eyes tightly shut, a small drop of moisture escaping one eye, and the man was barely breathing. Justin kissed down farther licking along Brian's cock and then sucking Brian's balls into his mouth one at a time.  He looked up to see Brian's neck arch with pleasure, as he still kept his eyes closed.  Justin kissed along the scar and whispered words of love and comfort. Brian was so much more than his scar and Justin was determined to prove it. Justin gently nuzzled the soft brown pubes, inhaling the scent of Brian's musk and spicy body wash. He cupped the full sack of Brian's balls, and felt Brian stiffen.  But he didn't stop.  He ran his fingers over the scar and rolled the balls around in his hand.  

 

"Perfect," he whispered.

Justin would have never known about the prosthetic if Brian hadn't divulged the secret. Who fucking cared anyway? The man was a sex god, scars, fake ball and all. Justin lapped at the small drop of pre-cum that oozed from the tip of Brian's penis.  "You are so beautiful," Justin managed to say before he sucked just the head into his mouth. Brian arched as he felt Justin's warm moist mouth surround him.  

"Come up here," Brian murmured as he drew Justin into his arms and captured his lips. "I have never known anyone as beautiful and perfect as you. Thank you for making me feel beautiful too." 

Justin was slightly shocked. He didn't realize how wounded Brian had been and not by his surgery.  Justin smiled at his new lover. Ocean blue shining brightly at the twinkling hazel eyes.  

"Don't thank me yet."

 

"How could they think you were too old?  You're perfect," Brian whispered as his hands cupped Justin's ass.

"I've only just be...be..." ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! Three sneezes rang out in rapid succession. Then three more and more still. Justin rolled off of Brian, blushing deeply from stem to stern. A flurry of, "I'm sorry's," spilled from Justin's lips in between more sneezes. "Fuck!" ACHOO! 

"Gesundheit!" Brian replied. 

"No, don't, you'll only have to say it a hundred more times." 

"Then Gesundheit times one hundred." 

"How embarrassing! I wanted to make this night perfect for you." Justin sighed into Brian's shoulder then kissed it. 

Brian rolled on top of the younger man and hovered above him, taking most of his weight on his arms. "What makes you think this night hasn't been perfect?" Brian said in his most sultry voice then he captured Justin's full pouting lips. 

Justin pulled Brian down onto him, loving the weight and warmth of Brian. The kiss ended only when they needed to breathe. 

ACHOOOOO! 

"Perfect," both men said in unison then burst into belly laughs. 

"Just perfect!"


	13. Epilogue

  
Author's notes: Thanks for all the good feedback.  I hope you enjoy the ending.  


* * *

Justin grabbed the edges of the pillow beneath him and held on for dear life.  Brian pounded into his ass uttering little moans and gasps that went straight to Justin's dick.  Justin managed to turn his head and get a brief look at Brian's face before he would have to close his eyes and ride the passion sweeping through him.

 

Brian's face was a study in concentration.  His eyes were mostly shut but when he realized Justin was looking at him, a little smile curled the corners of his mouth.  He whispered, "Yeah," as he nipped Justin's shoulder.

 

Justin watched as Brian repositioned himself pulling Justin's hips up so he could get a better angle for his thrusts.  The hazel eyes were almost black, certainly the darkest green that Justin had ever seen.  He immediately wanted to work that color into the painting that was half finished in his space at PIFA.  Brian's forehead wrinkled in a frown as he drove into Justin striving to hit that spot that would send them both over the edge.  

 

And then he found it.  Justin let out a gasp as his orgasm hit him like a freight train.  His ass clamped down on Brian and they were both flying, soaring to the heights of ecstasy, places where neither of them had ever gone with anybody else.

 

Justin felt Brian let out a final gasp and felt his weight slump on top of him.  It felt just right, perfect in fact.  He smiled to himself as his eyes started to focus on the lights above Brian's bed.  He wanted to turn over and cradle Brian against him, but he also liked Brian on top of him, his softening dick still up his ass.

 

"You okay?" Brian whispered against his neck.

 

"Never better," Justin said breathily.  He felt Brian slide out of him and he couldn't repress the little whimper of regret.

 

"Did I hurt you?" Brian asked as he rolled to the side to let Justin breathe.

 

"Fuck no!  I just wanted you to stay there forever."  Justin turned onto his back as Brian tied off the condom and tossed it in the wastebasket.  "You are one fucking fantastic lover, Brian Kinney."

 

Brian snorted.  "Thanks for the accolades, but you don't have to keep professing them."  It seemed like Justin said that every time they fucked or made love.  And he could almost believe it was making love.  It was so different from what he had done with Garnet and the thousands of others.  "My ego's doing just fine."  
  
"I'm glad your ego is doing good, but that's not why I said that.  You are truly the best.  I've never known anyone who makes me feel the way you do."  
  
"Ditto," Brian smiled and leaned over to kiss Justin's sweet lips.

 

The kiss brought about an immediate response in Justin.  He could feel himself start to get hard.  Brian broke the kiss and ran his hand along the length of Justin's cock.  He saw the man shiver at his touch and felt the cock grow in his hand.

 

"You know," Brian mused as he continued the gentle stroking.  "You are so fucking horny for an over the hill Calvin Klein model."

 

Justin sneezed once.

 

"Gesundheit," Brian laughed.

 

They both waited.  There were no more sneezes.

 

"You're getting better," Brian said.  "Only one."

 

"Instead of three … or a hundred and three," Justin said with a grimace.

 

Ever since he and Brian had truly hooked up after the photo shoot about two months ago, they had each worked on the other's hang-ups.  Brian now knew that Justin found him attractive and not disgusting like someone else who would remain nameless.  Brian deliberately referred to Justin as old or over the hill to show him that he still found Justin attractive regardless of his age.  He wanted the age factor to become totally insignificant.

 

"I'll have you know," Justin declared.  "That I am no longer an over the hill Calvin Klein model.  I'm the rising young spokesperson for High Life Hair Care products."  That was followed by one sneeze.

 

"Gesundheit," Brian chuckled.  "And a fine spokesperson you are."  
  
"Thank you very much," Justin smiled.  There were no more sneezes.  They both relaxed.  

 

"Any time."  
  
"You going to do something with that or just play with it?" Justin asked looking down at his now very hard dick.

 

"I'm thinking about it."  
  
"Well, don't think too long or I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

 

"Haven't you had enough?" Brian smirked.  They had fucked ever since Justin had arrived shortly after seven o'clock.  It was now almost nine.

 

"I'm good for one more," Justin grinned.

 

He rolled towards Brian and his hand reached down to fondle Brian's sac.  He ran his thumb over the scar and then squeezed.  That got the desired reaction from Brian, a groan of pleasure and a quickly rising dick.

 

"See," Justin smirked.  "I knew you had one more left in you, old man," Justin teased Brian, giving him a taste of the medicine that he was always giving Justin.

 

"You didn't sneeze," Brian said.

 

"That's because I was calling you old, not myself."  
  
"Well, watch the old comments," Brian griped.  Then he faked a sneeze to emphasize his point.

 

Justin laughed.  "You'll have to do better than that, old man.  I saw right through your pretense."  
  
"How about this?" Brian asked with a sexy glimmer in his eye.  He rolled atop Justin and captured his lips in a heated kiss.  Meanwhile his hands roamed everywhere touching and stroking and pinching all the places that turned Justin on.  They had spent hours exploring each other's body, learning and pleasing each other at the same time.

 

"That was pretty good," Justin admitted when he came up for air.  His cock strained against his stomach and leaked profusely.

 

Brian grabbed a condom and they were off to the races.

 

Some time later Justin awoke from the little nap he had fallen into after their last round of fucking.  His stomach rumbled and he realized that he hadn't eaten since lunch and it was now almost ten o'clock at night.

 

He shifted to the side of the bed and sat up.

 

"Where are you going?" Brian asked.

 

"I'm starving.  You need to feed me or I can't fuck anymore," Justin declared.

 

"I don't think there's anything in the fridge but poppers."  
  
"Then get the fuck up and take me out to eat," Justin ordered with a mischievous grin on his face.

 

"When did you get so bossy?"

 

"When I'm hungry.  Come on," Justin said pulling on Brian's arm to get him up.  "Let's have a quick shower and then I want food."  
  
"We can order something in," Brian said as he let himself be led to the bathroom.

 

They showered together washing each other and applying some of Brian's expensive moisturizers.  As they were drying off a thought occurred to Justin.

 

"I want a humongous burger and fries and a milkshake and maybe some of those lemon bars," he stated.

 

"Sounds like the diner."  
  
"Exactly.  I'm down a few grease groups and I need to build up my strength."  
  
"Okay," Brian gave in, knowing that Debbie probably wouldn't be working this late and his friends would either be at home or at Woody's.

 

"After that, I want to go to Babylon."

 

"Babylon?" Brian asked raising an eyebrow.  "Why Babylon?"

 

"Because I'll be going with the best looking guy in Pittsburgh and I want to show him off."  
  
"How do you know we can get in?  Since the new owner took over it's become the in place to be."  Brian couldn't help but smirk.  The place was making him a mint.

 

"I have an in," Justin smiled.  "Can we go?  I feel like dancing."

 

"I think that can be arranged," Brian gave in.  Even though he owned the club, he rarely went there, finding too many bad memories still haunted the place.  But he'd go for Justin.

 

"Good, then let's find something evil to wear."

 

Justin had about half his clothes at Brian's now.  His apartment had become little more than a studio for his art.  The majority of his time he spent with Brian, using his own place only to work on his art, or to study, or when he needed some peaceful time alone.

 

Not too long later, two very handsome men dressed for clubbing walked into the Liberty Diner.  Heads turned and all eyes followed them as they walked to a booth in the back.  Brian glanced around noting that there was no sign of Debbie or any of his friends.  In a way he kind of wished they were there.  He knew he and Justin looked great.  They had spent long enough selecting what to wear and primping and preening.  They both looked perfect and apparently all the fag clientele of the diner recognized that fact.  Brian smirked to himself.  He was back … in every way that mattered.  He felt like a million bucks.

 

Justin felt all the eyes caressing him, wanting him.  He felt great.  Finding Brian and what they had together had been the best thing that had ever happened to him.  He knew he would be fine out in the world now.  If he never modeled again, that was okay.  He would have his art.  He knew he was good, even though he was older than almost all the other students at PIFA.  He gave a little sneeze as that thought struck home.

 

"Gesundheit," Brian whispered against his ear.  
  
Justin felt his cock stiffen as Brian's warm breath caressed his neck.  His dick was trapped in his already skin tight leather pants, and he groaned.

 

"Stop that or you'll have to rip these leathers off me and fuck me across the counter."  
  
"Done," Brian smirked.

 

Justin had a moment's heart palpitation at Brian's statement.  One thing he had learned about Brian Kinney was that he was unpredictable.  He never what Brian could do, and he was never sure when Brian was joking.  Justin looked in Brian's eyes and saw the humor there.  He didn't mean that about the counter, at least not literally. 

 

"Maybe the back room at Babylon," Justin whispered back in his best sexy voice.

 

"You better stop that too, Sunshine, or I won't be kidding."  
  
They both laughed and sat down trying to arrange their dicks so they didn't pinch too much in their tight pants.  The diner went back to its normal business with only a few surreptitious glances in their direction every minute or two.

 

Justin enjoyed the huge burger and fries and all the other things he had wanted.  By the end of the meal he was wishing he had worn looser pants.

 

"I need to go dance for an hour at Babylon," Justin said as they exited the diner.  "Or else I have to go back to the loft and take off these pants.  I'm going to burst out of them."  
  
"And that would be a bad thing because…" Brian smirked.

 

"Come on, Brian.  I want to dance."  
  
"Are you sure you can shake your booty without splitting those pants?" Brian chuckled.

 

"Asshole!"  Justin swatted him on the arm.

 

"Okay, okay, Babylon it is."  
  
They decided to walk since it was only a few blocks.  By the time they got there Justin felt more like he could dance.  The walk seemed to have helped his huge dinner settle.

 

Brian waved at the bouncer and walked into his club past the gaping faces of the poor schmucks who were lined up around the block.  Justin giggled as he followed Brian.

 

"What?" Brian asked.

 

"I love walking into a place like this when there are all those people waiting.  It gives me a rush.  Does that make me shallow?" Justin asked with a frown.

 

"Shallow and … perfect," Brian chuckled as he kissed Justin's cheek.

 

They stepped into the main area of Babylon where the thumpa thumpa was king and the hot young bodies gyrated in time with it.  Heads turned and people stopped dancing.  The king and his new consort had returned.

 

Brian felt kind of funny.  He hadn't felt like this for a long time.  He had avoided Babylon with a passion, but it was good to know that he still had his charisma, that he could still make man cream themselves, that he could have any man in the place.  Not like that fucking dream that he had had so many times in the past.  Funny, since he and Justin had finally got together, he hadn't had that dream even once.  He leaned over and kissed Justin.  He didn’t want any of the hot young men out on the dance floor.  The only man he wanted was right beside him.  He could take Babylon or leave it.  It had lost its power over him.

 

"Let's get a drink, and then we can have that dance I promised you," Brian said.

 

Once they were on the dance floor, Brian used his tried and true dance of sex on Justin.  It was like fucking in front of everyone there.  It made them both hard and breathless.  One dance led to another until Justin felt like his dick was going to explode in his pants.  

 

"Take me to the back room," he yelled into Brian's ear.  It was the only way to make Brian hear him.

 

Brian frowned.  "Are you sure?"

 

"Yes!" was the definite answer.

 

Brian took Justin's hand and led him from the dance floor.  Men watched them as they made their way towards the back room.  Some even followed, wanting to get a look at the legendary dick that they had once enjoyed or had only heard about in mythical stories.  The two men were so beautiful together that the thought of seeing them fuck made all those who knew what was happening very hard.

 

Brian led Justin to a spot where there was some open space.  He pushed Justin back against the wall and captured his lips in a long and sensual kiss.  They were both gasping for air as Brian finally released him.

 

"God, I want you," Justin panted.

 

"Do you think you'll be able to get those leather pants back on if we take them off?" Brian smirked.

 

"Asshole," Justin laughed.  "I will, if you help me."  
  
"Of course, Sunshine," Brian said as his hand found the front of said pants and stroked Justin through the soft leather.

 

Justin moaned and Brian found those lips once again.  One thing led to another and Justin found his ass out in the cool air while his leather pants pooled around his ankles.  He leaned against the wall sticking his ass out for Brian to claim.  The next thing he knew he was filled by Brian's long slim cock and he was grunting in time with his beautiful partner.  They rode the waves of pleasure for as long as they could manage.  Finally they both came almost at the same moment.  They slumped against the wall, Brian's chin resting on Justin's shoulder and his hand firmly around Justin's waist steadying them both.

 

Brian stuffed his dick back in his jeans and bent down to pull up the leather pants.  That was what he had promised to do.  He was interrupted by a round of applause form those who had stopped to watch.  The rest were in some stage of ecstasy as they used the Brian and Justin floor show to help get themselves off.

 

"Thank you, gentlemen," Brian said with a smirk, "but the show's over for tonight."  He yanked Justin's leathers up over that bountiful ass, and Justin was able to button the front.  He leaned against Brian, a little shy about all the attention to what they had just done.

 

"Can we get out of here now, Brian?" Justin whispered.

 

"Of course," Brian replied taking Justin's hand and walking towards the entrance to the back room.

 

"Still know how to put on a show, I see," a familiar voice said as they neared the door.

 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian asked as he stopped and looked at Garnet Kendall.  The man was leaning against the wall while some trick sucked him off.  "I didn't think this was your scene."  
  
"It's not, but sometimes I feel like slumming," Garnet smirked.

 

"Where's Keith?" Brian asked realizing that the man who was doing the sucking was not the perfect Keith that Garnet had been with the last time they had met.

 

"Um … we broke up," Garnet admitted.

 

"What a shame!" Brian said sarcastically.  "Is this your new perfect mate?"  
  
"Hardly," Garnet said trying to sound haughty.  Brian was making his dick soft.

 

"Hey man, I don't need this shit.  Not from some asshole like you who can't even keep it up."  The man at Garnet's feet stood up and stomped out of the back room.

 

"Better put your dick away.  It doesn't seem to be getting much attention," Justin laughed.

 

"And who the fuck do you think you are?  You're just some aging model," Garnet tried to laugh as he stuck his cock back in his slacks.

 

"A working model," Justin corrected.  He noted that he didn't even sneeze at Garnet's age comment.

 

"The new spokesperson for High Life Hair Care," Brian said proudly.

 

"And look what you got stuck with," Garnet said nodding in Brian's direction.

 

Brian took a step towards Garnet.  He was going to flatten the bastard.  Justin's hand on his chest stopped him.

 

"I'm not stuck with anything," Justin said defiantly.  "I have exactly what I want.  Brian Kinney is the best fucking lover in the whole fucking world.  He's perfect too, but you were too stupid to recognize the value of what you had.  Let's go, Brian.  You can fuck me back at the loft where we won't have to look at losers like this."  
  
Justin took Brian's hand and they walked away leaving a dumbfounded Garnet to suffer the laughs and derision of the back room of Babylon.

 

When they stepped outside of the club, Brian pulled Justin around and kissed him thoroughly.

 

"What was that for?" Justin asked as he leaned into Brian.

 

"For making my life great, for making me feel like a million dollars," Brian whispered.

 

"I meant it, Brian.  Every word.  I love you."  
  
"I love you right back."  
  
They walked along the street knowing that together they could deal with anyone and anything.  Together they were truly perfect in all the ways that mattered.  
  
  



End file.
